You're Still An Innocent
by thelilacfield
Summary: After the humiliation of being left the morning after a one night stand, Kurt just wants to forget about what he did with too much eggnog in his system and move on with his life. Too bad he finds himself staring at a positive pregnancy test six weeks later - post-5x08 reaction fic


**Pairing:** Endgame Kurt/Blaine, slight past Kurt/Cody

**Rating: **NC-17

**Story Warnings/Kinks/Tropes: **Slut-shaming, unprotected sex outside of a monogamous relationship, dub-con in a past sexual encounter, some slight violence, mpreg, angst, discussion of abortion, threats, attempted manipulation, hints of victim-blaming

**A/N:** Yes, this is reaction fic written after 5x08. Yes, Kurt is having Cody's baby. Yes, this is set in the universe in which Previously Unaired Christmas took place. However, it goes AU from about half an hour into the episode, and as such Cody did not assault Kurt and rob the apartment. He and Kurt had an unprotected one night stand which led to Kurt's pregnancy. He does feature in further scenes in the fic, though these scenes stand alone and are easily skipped without missing too much. After the events of Previously Unaired Christmas, it mostly matches up to the canon timeline, with a few changes for the sake of plot. I hope you can still give this fic a chance despite the touchy subject it was built on :)

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><p>"<em>Don't<em>," Rachel moaned as Santana thudded bowls of cereal down onto the table. Rolling her eyes at Rachel, with her head in her hands and eyes squeezed shut, Santana turned back to the counter and stirred sugar into Rachel's coffee. As she sat down, Rachel winced obviously at the sound of her chair grinding across the floor and said, "Oh my God I'm gonna die."

"Drama queen," Santana observed, taking a long drink of coffee and contemplating whether she felt human enough to eat. Looking up from the pillow of her arms, Rachel gave her a narrow-eyed glare before slumping down again, strands of tinsel tangled into her hair and yesterday's clothes crumpled, a stain of eggnog down one arm. "Maybe we had too much to drink."

"There's no 'maybe' about it," Rachel groaned into the table, reaching out to pull her coffee over, sparing her cereal a disgusted look. "We drank way too much. I haven't been that drunk since...ever." Ignoring Santana's pointed look - the house party had been a memory to repress - she turned to look at Kurt's firmly closed curtain and hastily changed the subject. "What actually happened? Somewhere around singing my memory just goes black. Never touching eggnog again."

Santana deliberately waited until Rachel was taking a long gulp of coffee before she answered, "You know, I'm not entirely sure, but I think, I _think_, Kurt slept with Santa," and smothered her laughter when Rachel choked and started coughing loud enough to wake the dead. As she sat up again, her eyes went wide in a familiar expression, one Santana had seen on many regretful morning after faces, the expression that made it clear she had suddenly remembered _everything_.

"Oh my God I made bauble innuendos," she groaned, and Santana couldn't help but splutter out a laugh. Out of every second of their behaviour, that was the one thing she chose to be the most disgusted by. "Oh my God, I saw my best friend getting frenched over a table! I hate alcohol." As she pulled her cereal closer, she asked, "Wait, is Cody still here? I can't face him, I embarrassed myself so badly last night."

Digging into the depths of her hangover-fogged memory, Santana answered, "I crept out to rinse out my birdcage-mouth at about six and he was leaving. I hid in the bathroom so I didn't have to talk to him, but he's definitely gone. And he looked pretty fucking pleased with himself."

Rachel's expression turned suddenly sad as she stirred her cereal slowly, tapping her nails against her spoon. "Poor Kurt," she observed softly. "There can't be anything worse than a hook-up leaving before you even wake up."

"It's not exactly a confidence boost," Santana agreed, and rolled her eyes at Rachel's wide-eyed look towards her. "Come on, Rach, really? After Britt and I broke up I had a couple of hook-ups, and they always ran off in the middle of the night. Obviously didn't want to deal with my emotional baggage." And with that, the curtain into Kurt's room swept open and he moped in.

"Good morning sunshine," Rachel said, reaching out to squeeze his hand and pull him into the seat next to her. Kurt just sighed and put his head down on the table, not looking at either of them. Furiously mouthing _Damage control!_ at Santana over his head, Rachel stood and announced, "I'm going to shower and see if I can get the stain out of this shirt. San, you can have the bathroom when I'm done."

Watching Rachel vanish, and listening for the sound of the pipes creaking when she turned on the shower, Santana reached over to pat Kurt's shoulder and asked, "You okay?" Hearing sniffling, she winced away for a moment before she sat down next to Kurt and put an arm around him, forcing him upright to bury his face in her shoulder. "Hey, it's okay, it's not the end of the world," Santana reassured him softly, rubbing his back in an attempt to calm him down. "So one guy ran out on you, so what? His loss. You're a catch and some guy is gonna be lucky to get you for longer than one night."

"I'm such an idiot," Kurt mumbled, finally looking up with his face tear-stained. "I thought it would be fun to put myself out there and sleep with a guy who seemed nice the same day I met him. I didn't think he'd just leave. Who _does_ that?"

"Cowards," Santana answered. "Wimps who aren't worth a single second of your time. If all he wants is quick fuck and complete avoidance of the aftermath, he isn't worth you being upset. Just forget it, there are thousands of much nicer men out there, and we'll find you one for Valentine's Day." Huffing out a laugh, Kurt laid his head on her shoulders and reached for her coffee. "Okay, fine. But only because you got run out on," Santana conceded, and Kurt blew her a teasing kiss.

* * *

><p>As it turned out, they couldn't simply repress the memories of their night before Christmas and move on with their lives. With her mother's blessing, Santana dropped out of college in early January and moved into the loft, quickly eking out a corner for herself and filling it with the sound of music playing and her constant texting with Quinn and Mercedes, making them laugh with certain selected anecdotes from her Christmas after swearing them to secrecy on pain of death. But, returning home from a late shift dancing in a bar one night close to the end of January, Santana found Rachel still awake and hovering anxiously outside the bathroom door. "Kurt's sick," she said softly. "I heard him in there this morning while you were still dead to the world, and we were having late-night takeout when he just went green and rushed in there." Knocking, she called, "Kurt, are you alright?"<p>

"I'm fine, just leave me alone!" Kurt snapped from inside, and Santana raised her eyebrows at Rachel's wounded expression. Slipping her hand through Rachel's elbow, Santana tugged her into her little section, putting on music so Kurt wouldn't be able to hear them talking.

"Food poisoning?" Rachel suggested, sitting down cross-legged on the end of Santana's bed and playing with the tassels on her blanket. "We haven't really been eating differently, but maybe he's had something from a café that wasn't prepared properly. I'd say flu, but he doesn't have any other symptoms."

Counting hastily on her fingers, Santana said, "Six weeks since the night before Christmas." Turning to look at Rachel, the realisation slowly assembling itself on her face, she whispered, "Remember the panic that week in senior year? Rachel...Rachel, oh my _God_."

"No, we can't assume, we have to ask him, maybe it's food poisoning or just an upset stomach," Rachel protested, pulling so hard at the tassel wrapped around her fingers that a long thread came off in her hand. "Oh _shit_, sorry." Knowing Rachel only swore when she was truly worried, Santana clicked out to the bathroom and hammered on the door.

"Kurt, you let me in right now or I'll get the drill and unscrew this door!" she shouted, raising her hand to bang on the door again and stopping hastily when she heard the lock click open and the door swung aside for Kurt to appear before her, eyes red and swollen and glistening with tears. "Oh honey," Santana whispered, and wrapped her arms tightly around Kurt, pressing a quick, comforting kiss to his temple. "It's going to be okay, Kurt. I promise, we're here for you no matter what happens."

"Do you want me to book an appointment at the hospital?" Rachel piped up from behind Santana, adding her arms to the group hug. "It could just be a false alarm. Maybe you're so sure that you're experiencing the symptoms anyway?" Pulling out of their arms, Kurt took Rachel by the hand and pulled her into the bathroom. Four pregnancy test boxes, all different brands, were crowded together on the shelf above the sink, where the four positive tests were lying, mocking their hopes.

"We need hot chocolate, blankets and trashy TV, right now," Santana said to break the silence, chivvying both Kurt and Rachel out of the bathroom and shutting the door firmly, leaving them to gather their blankets and snuggle up together on the couch, flicking lazily through the channels for something to watch while she made their hot chocolates, dropping an extra marshmallow into Kurt's.

Picking up the three envelopes from the table while they watched whatever ridiculous reality show had been picked out, Rachel edged her wedding invitation out of its envelope and said, "You know, I'm not sure if I want to go to the wedding. Brody already told me he doesn't want to go with me, and it'll be Valentine's Day, and it might be weird with everyone there."

"Well, I'm going whether you go or not," Santana said, putting her feet up over Rachel's crossed ankles. "It should be amazing, it'll be like a reunion for us graduates and _open bar_! My fake ID hasn't gotten any exercise in a while since you guys have older friends who just buy this stuff for you. Besides, I gotta see my girls in person for a change. I can't even Skype with them, we can never find time when all three of us are available and not about to pass out from exhaustion." Turning to Kurt, who'd been uncharacteristically silent for almost an hour, she said, "You'll come with me, right? You can be my date, and we'll rock the boat by telling everyone we're each other's exceptions and we're getting married. You can buy me a cheap ring, I ain't no gold-digger."

"Who seriously gets married on Valentine's Day?" Kurt asked, leaning against Rachel with a sigh. "It sounds romantic, but all it does is put pressure on everyone. I don't want to turn up there alone."

"You'll have us," Rachel promised, linking her pinkie with Kurt's and gesturing to Santana to do the same. "We'll go as a trio, okay? No boyfriends or girlfriends, just the three of us."

"And baby makes four?" Santana suggested softly, shrugging at Rachel furiously mouthing at her. Sighing, Kurt curled down into the couch and tugged the blanket up to his chin, and Santana was worried for a moment he was going to burst into tears and she'd have to kick herself out.

Finally, after a long moment of silence, Kurt smiled. Small and faint, but there. "But don't tell anyone," he said, and Santana shook her head hard. Not even Quinn and Mercedes would get the details on this from anyone except Kurt himself.

* * *

><p>By the time they were getting into the hotel rooms Mr. Schuester had booked for everyone flying in from out of town, six in total - which Santana rightly observed was extravagant when they could've stayed with their parents, but she wasn't about to pass up an all expenses paid long weekend in a nice hotel - Kurt had worked himself into a panic, sitting on the end of his bed with his arms wrapped around his slightly swollen belly while Santana examined his room and Rachel unpacked for him, singing softly to herself. "How am I going to face anyone?!" Kurt asked loudly, his face all fear when he looked up from his knees. "I can't tell them how this happened, they'll all judge me for sleeping around."<p>

"One guy is hardly sleeping around," Santana interjected, counting the coathangers in the small wardrobe provided. "You just happened to get the shitty consequences for one night of fun."

"How can I talk to_ Blaine_?!" Kurt shouted, and burst into tears. Tossing her head at Rachel, Santana watched her slide into place next to Kurt, stabbing the seal on a box of tissues open and rubbing his shuddering shoulders. Looking up, tears sliding down his cheeks and eyes red, Kurt continued, "What am I supposed to say to him? Happy Valentine's Day, how are you, by the way I'm pregnant. I don't want him to hate me!"

"Please, you could run over a puppy in front of Blaine and he still wouldn't hate you," Santana said, finishing her counting and sitting on Kurt's other side, trying not to smile at his adorable belly. "It's gonna be okay, Kurt. You don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to, I promise you can't tell there's a bump when you're all dressed up. We specifically had your suit tailored so you wouldn't be able to tell."

"Don't feel pressured to shout it from the rooftops right away," Rachel added reassuringly, dabbing the tears from Kurt's face. "Remember, we're the only three who know, and that doesn't have to change this weekend if you don't want it to. Although maybe you should talk to your dad and just let him know. You don't even have to share the details."

Kurt sniffled and put on a brave smile for them both, blowing his nose. "You guys are the best," he said, and Santana grinned smugly, hugging him to her side before her phone started ringing and she climbed up to answer it.

"Breadstix with the grads in forty minutes, don't be late," came Puck's voice, and then he hung up. Rolling her eyes at his usual terseness, but smiling fondly despite it, Santana turned to the duo still sitting on the bed and said, "We're meeting the other six for dinner in forty minutes, so get dressed and think of the funniest stories you can. We're going to best Quinn and her affair with her professor."

After changing out of their travelling clothes and into something slightly more suited to dinner out with their old friends - Kurt wearing the thickest sweater he could find, pushed down to hide his belly - the three of them headed off to Breadstix. The other four were waiting in the parking lot for them, ready to provide hugs and kisses and excited chatter as they filed in and found their pre-booked booth. "So how was everyone's Christmas?" Puck asked as their drinks arrived. "I meant to call, but I was hanging with the family and then took Jake out to test his fake ID."

"At least you remembered to call on New Year's, honey," Quinn cooed teasingly, and Puck shot her a glare and kicked her under the table. "Christmas was good, a little lonely though. I Skyped with my sister's kids in the afternoon and they sang to me, and I loved the combined present from my favourite New Yorkers." Shaking her head so her earrings jangled, she winked at Santana, who shrugged modestly.

"I called Tina on Christmas Eve and persuaded her to watch films with me over Skype, then we agreed to do dinner at some point this weekend," Mike said to a bright grin and light applause from Mercedes. "Seriously, New Yorkers, your gifts were great, did you clean out an entire store?"

"Damn nearly," Santana answered to laughter around the table. After a short break for them all to order, she continued, "Christmas was...interesting." Looking to Rachel and Kurt, she asked, "Are you guys cool with me sharing selected anecdotes?" When they both nodded, the same obvious warning in their eyes, Santana said, "I was unaware Santa could be sexy until what we refer to as the night before Christmas. And I haven't been so drunk since Rachel's house party, and I will never look at eggnog again."

"Wish I'd been there to see this sexy Santa," Mercedes said mournfully, and Rachel laughed. "Seriously, I was all by myself in LA, not getting any action. I'm so jealous of you three with a hot guy in your apartment, how do you do it?"

"It's my natural allure," Rachel said, preening dramatically, and grinned when Puck winked at her. "Actual Christmas was quiet, though. Brody came over to hand out presents and we watched some films and ate a lot of pancakes. Not a bad Christmas, overall."

Kurt looked up, and Santana jumped when Rachel's hand closed on her thigh under the table, her nails digging nervously into Santana's skin. "Can I say something? You can tell people, but not Blaine or my family." Nodding slowly, everyone leaned closer, Quinn sparing a questioning look for Santana. "You all know about the guest we had a week before Christmas. You all know how drunk we were and how badly we behaved. But what you don't know is that I slept with him." Mike promptly spluttered on his drink, and Kurt smiled wanly. "And I'm sure you all remember my pregnancy scare just before graduation." Drooping visibly, eyes sad and resigned, he finally confessed, "This time, it wasn't a scare. I'm pregnant."

There was a long moment of silence, until Puck finally broke it by saying, "Well that sucks. One hook-up and you're knocked up."

"Been there," Quinn declared with a grin, and the table immediately descended into laughter and chatter again, Puck taking over the stories with a wild fabrication of Rachel's behaviour on the night before Christmas, the glint in his eyes only growing brighter with every one of Rachel's shrill protests.

Reaching across the table to grip Kurt's hand, Mercedes lowered her voice as she asked, "When are you going to tell Blaine?"

Sliding his fingers between hers, his free hand moving slowly across his belly, Kurt said, a promise to himself, "Tomorrow, at the reception."

* * *

><p>As it turned out, the reception was less of a celebration of a newly-wedded couple and more of a simple reunion party for the graduates and current students, rapidly devolving into drunken revelry and more than one couple kissing in the corners. Despite feeling the curious eyes on her, Santana continued in her solidarity with Kurt, not touching the alcohol and instead watching Rachel break her promise to never touch alcohol again, dancing with Mike and Sam and looking to be having the time of her life. Seeing Kurt standing on the sidelines, talking to Sue Sylvester of all people, Santana grinned when Puck and Kitty came to sit down next to her, Kitty smiling as she perched herself in Puck's lap. "Not drinking?" she asked curiously, apparently much more mellow and sweet when tipsy. "I had you pegged for a drinker. Surely you have a fake ID."<p>

"I need to keep an eye on my roommates, and I promised Kurt I'd stay off the booze with him," Santana answered, noticing Rachel looking at Finn and wondering whether it was her responsibility to intervene or let her have her fun.

"Kurt isn't drinking either?" Kitty asked curiously. "Why not? From the snippets I heard from Tina and Artie, you three were tearing it up at Christmas. Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Santa came," Puck joked, and Santana snorted loudly, while Kitty looked between them with her brow wrinkled in confusion. "Okay, babe, basically Kurt's a carrier, there was this big condom breakage scare at the end of senior year when he thought he'd blown all chance of getting to college, and those three party animals had a guy over for the night who hooked up with Kurt and they probably didn't use protection and now Kurt's having a baby so he's not drinking."

"That's so sweet!" Kitty cooed, to Santana's amazement. She'd pegged Kitty for the type to bitch about Kurt being a pregnant man and sex before marriage and safe sex. "Not that the daddy wants nothing to do with it, but a little baby conceived at Christmas time, that's wonderful! Do you think he'll keep it, or give it up for adoption? Is it a boy or a girl?" Squinting over at Kurt, her eyes lit up and she proclaimed, "I can see the belly! Oh my God, that is the cutest thing I've ever seen."

"Just be careful about who you tell," Santana warned. "Not Finn, and not Blaine. Kurt wants to tell them himself." Kitty nodded, and eagerly ran into the crowd, and Santana could see her yelling at Marley over the music. Turning to Puck, she said, "Well, she's...different."

"She's actually quite sweet when she wants to be," Puck confided. "Don't tell anyone, but I think this might go a bit further than a silly thing. Is it weird to date your little brother's ex-girlfriend?"

"The weirdest," Santana teased, and ignored Puck's glare to watch Kurt and Sue dancing, Sue in her copy of Emma's wedding dress and Kurt laughing, open and bright, and she couldn't help but grin. Kurt finally looked happy, carefree, when every day the world-weariness in his eyes had been growing heavier and his sadness deepening, obvious and blinding. Perhaps it was New York, and everything that tied him down there, with the baby and the memories of that night that wouldn't fade, and his desperation to keep meeting expectations despite being pregnant. For tonight, he was having fun and at peace, and tomorrow didn't matter as long as tonight was here, neverending.

* * *

><p><em>"Deep in my soul, I've been so lonely<em>

_All of my hopes, fading away_

_I've longed for love, like everyone else does_

_I know I'll keep searching, even after today."_

Sitting on the sidelines in the darkness, Kurt started when someone touched his shoulder, and looked up to find Blaine looking down at him, one hand held out. "May I have this dance?" he asked softly, eyes bright and smile sweet, and Kurt couldn't help but smile back, slide his fingers between Blaine's that felt so familiar, warm and gentle, and let Blaine guide him onto the dance floor, Blaine's arms sliding around his waist as his found Blaine's shoulders, the music swirling as the colourfully-dressed couples danced all around them.

Despite trying to hold himself rigid, knowing anyone holding him so close could feel his belly, starting to swell with the growing baby, Kurt couldn't help but melt into Blaine's touch, his familiar hands and arms and body, seeing him smile and his eyes bright with adoration as Rachel's voice filled the room. He hadn't felt so at home in a long time, not since that night when Blaine had broken his heart and left him the next morning, without a word passing between them until Thanksgiving. And now everything was changing, and Blaine looked so happy and hopeful, and Kurt just knew that when he found out Kurt was expecting a baby he'd be crushed.

Even more so when Blaine's lips brushed his cheek, and it seemed as if the room was made up of only them, everyone else around them a mere pillar compared to what was between them, pressing them together and yet pulling them apart. "I love you," Blaine whispered, hands pulling slightly at Kurt's back, bringing him closer.

And despite everything, though his life was changing and he was sure Blaine would be among the many things he stood to lose, though they'd broken up four months ago and hadn't seen each other in person since then, even though he had to take Blaine upstairs and tell him what was going on, Kurt held Blaine a little tighter and softly replied, "I love you too."

As the music continued, Rachel's voice soaring over the soft sounds of shoes on the dancefloor and the rustling of clothes, Blaine took his head from Kurt's shoulder, looping a strand of hair behind his ear and cupping his cheek gently, smile warm and tender as he leaned in and pressed his lips to Kurt's for the first time in months. And Kurt kissed him back, winding his arms around Blaine's neck until they were pressed close, baby bump be damned, and they stood still in the centre of the floor, just two lost boys wrapped up in each other, unaware of their friends poking each other and grinning and giggling around them, offering thumbs up to Rachel onstage.

As Blaine pulled away, eyes shining and smile tender, his blissful expression melted away into one of worry as he saw the tears sliding down Kurt's cheeks, his shoulders shaking as he tried to hold back the sobs building in his chest. "Are you okay?" he asked softly, cupping Kurt's face gently between his hands, sweeping his thumbs across Kurt's skin to wipe away the falling tears. "Kurt, I'm so sorry, was that too much? I didn't mean to upset you."

Taking Blaine by the hand, and resolutely ignoring Puck winking emphatically at him from the sidelines, Kurt pulled him up the stairs and unearthed his key, opening the door to his room and tugging Blaine inside, slamming and locking the door before anyone could question why he was going into a hotel room with his ex-boyfriend. They had no right to know. "Sit, please," he said softly, and he heard the bedsprings squeak as Blaine sat down obediently on the end of the bed, his hands in his lap, his face confused.

Stripping off his blazer and waistcoat, knowing his belly was more obvious without the layers, Kurt sat next to Blaine, taking his hands and blinking back tears as he whispered, "I'm sorry, Blaine. There was someone else."

"I don't care," Blaine said, brave and bold. "I love you, whether or not you've been with other people. I didn't expect you to save yourself for me. We're not together, you have every right to be with whoever you want, and you don't have to apologise for it." With a small, sly smirk, he asked, "It wasn't drunk sex with Rachel, was it?" When Kurt started laughing, unable to help himself, Blaine hastily went on with, "It's just that I heard from Artie who heard from Jake who heard from Puck that Rachel nearly slept with someone 'unexpected' at Christmas and I wondered if it was you."

"First I've heard of it, but now that I think about it Rachel was aggressively avoiding eye contact with Santana the next day," Kurt said thoughtfully, and watched the thought run across Blaine's mind, the way he grinned with the sudden ammunition for teasing. "Okay, Blaine, I need you to just let me talk, okay?" Blaine nodded, squeezing Kurt's hands reassuringly, and Kurt forced himself to take a deep breath in before he rushed into the shortened version of events. "You know that me, Rach and Santana were working extra jobs at Christmas, and at one of them we happened to meet somebody. His name was Cody, and we asked him over and we all ended up getting really drunk. Long story short, I slept with him. We didn't use protection. And now I'm pregnant." Looking down at his lap to avoid Blaine's eyes, he whispered, "Please don't hate me."

Kurt started when Blaine's hand crept onto his belly, the other tilting his tear-stained face up to peck a sweet kiss to the end of his nose. "I don't, and I don't have any right to," Blaine promised. "Maybe I'm jealous of the very lucky man who got to see you like that, but I was the one who put the nail in the coffin. You didn't need to tell me about it, but thank you for telling me. Thank you for still trusting me with this." Coming closer, one hand still on the slight bulge of Kurt's belly, he wrapped his free arm around Kurt, pulling him close. "What are you going to do? The father, this...Cody. Does he know?"

"He ran out on me afterwards, before I even woke up, and he didn't leave any contact details," Kurt confessed, ashamed, biting at his lip. "I don't even know his last name. I have no way of getting in touch with him to let him know, and, in hindsight, I'm not sure I want him involved in my baby's life. It was just a one night stand, and I got left to deal with this. But I'm keeping the baby, for now. I'll think about adoption again closer to the time."

"You are amazing," Blaine whispered, kissing Kurt's cheek. "You're the bravest person I know, Kurt. Do you know how many people would have an abortion and try to forget this? But look at you, taking on yet another burden, and pushing through it. I love you so much." Leaning in, pulling Kurt closer and cradling him in his lap, Blaine kissed him again, eyelashes tangling as Kurt tilted his head to get closer, revelling in the return of those sparks, those intensified by too much alcohol that night, but so bright now, completely sober and with Blaine, with the man he still loved, and forget everything else, this was all he wanted, to be with Blaine.

As they broke apart, breathing heavy and faces flushed, still clutching at each other and exchanging secretive smiles, Kurt took a deep breath and hurriedly said, "I've been thinking, and I don't think I'm cut out for being single in New York. I want to try us again, and make it work this time. Because I love you and I want to be with you." Blaine _beamed_, eyes shining like the sun as he tipped his head up and kissed Kurt again, pulling away with that same wide, ecstatic grin and flinging his arms around Kurt, clinging to him.

Returning downstairs, holding hands and standing close together when Kitty screamed at them to pose for pictures, Kurt was reeling with happiness. Blaine still loved him, Blaine didn't care, Blaine supported him and worried about him and wanted to help him, and they were back together and it was Valentine's Day and he was with the man he loved. Blaine's hand slid around his waist, fingers curving against his bump, and Kurt could hear the thrill in his voice as he whispered, "Can I be Papa?" into Kurt's ear, kissing his hair.

"You'd keep the baby with me?" Kurt asked softly, the night obviously drawing to a close, the music softer and quieter now, mostly couples left on the dance floor, swaying in each other's arms, many people nodding off on the sidelines, quiet and content and together. He'd left the dance floor hours ago, and now he was sitting with Blaine's arms around him on the sidelines, smiling at Rachel and Santana, half asleep and leaning on each other.

"Of course I would," Blaine answered easily, as if no other answer could even be considered. "I've always wanted a family with you, and even if this is a few years ahead of schedule, it's still a baby for us to love and care for." Before Kurt could contradict him, he added, "Don't even say it. It doesn't matter that I'm not the biological father, I'm going to be there for you and the baby the way he should be."

Kurt smiled softly, sliding his fingers between Blaine's. "Come upstairs," he murmured, pressing meaning into his words, and he saw the glint in Blaine's eyes as he nodded, helping Kurt to his feet and steadying him, hand pressing reverently against his belly before Kurt shook him off and ran for the stairs, turning back and beckoning Blaine with a crook of his finger and a flutter of his eyelashes. Halfway up, Blaine caught him and kissed him, smiling into every press of their lips together, dipping Kurt back slightly as Kurt wrapped his leg around Blaine's, letting out a laugh when Blaine pulled away.

The thrill was still there as Blaine took Kurt's hands to guide him towards the bed, kissing him sweet and soft, everywhere he could reach. Finally pushing him back slightly, arms still draped around his neck, Kurt tipped his forehead against Blaine's and whispered, "Shower?" Nodding eagerly, Blaine unearthed the plastic_ DO NOT DISTURB_ sign from the hotel drawers and hung it from the door handle before he joined Kurt again.

Their eyes met as Blaine's hands unbuttoned Kurt's shirt, slowly and carefully, tender and gentle, and at once it felt right. It was like coming home, finding themselves back in each other's arms, on Valentine's Day of all days, it was new and old and familiar and surprising all at the same time. The whisper of fabric hitting the floor was the only sound as Blaine left their clothes in a pile on the dresser and took Kurt by the hand, eyes waiting for his permission.

They kissed beneath the swirl of spray, the hot water cascading over their entwined bodies, mingling with the helpless tears on Kurt's cheeks. Blaine kissed every one away, hands gently cradling Kurt's face, never pushing, never assuming, just waiting. When the tension reached its height, Kurt turned around, waiting for Blaine's hands to slide downwards, his body hot against Kurt's, his lips on Kurt's neck and shoulders.

"Did you miss me?" Blaine asked softly, teeth scraping against the shell of Kurt's ear, and Kurt let his eyes slip shut, losing himself in feeling every caress Blaine tattooed into his skin. "I missed you so much. Kurt, you have no idea, the number of times I considered just buying a plane ticket and coming out, to see you and hold you and talk to you face to face. When I found out I'd be by myself for Christmas, I almost asked if I could come spend it with you."

"That would've been awkward," Kurt said lightly, and Blaine turned him around, leaning up to kiss him, lips moving slowly and firmly against Kurt's.

"Listen to me: I don't care what you did when we weren't together," he said firmly, every word enunciated, finishing with a kiss. "I love you, and I'm not angry, Kurt, please don't act like you shouldn't have had fun while you were single. It's _fine_."

The tension stretched out between them, a fine thread pulled taut, and Kurt did his best to break it, joking, "Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much." When Blaine laughed, dropping his head and looking up at Kurt from beneath his eyelashes, Kurt added, "I understand if you're jealous, Blaine. I was."

Blaine's finger pressed to his lips, and his free hand slid down Kurt's side, passing over his belly and down to his thigh. "No more talking about the past," he said. "Not tonight. This is about the future." Curving his fingers against Kurt's belly, he smiled and added, "_Our_ future." His voice took on a darker, possessive tone as he whispered, "Turn around."

Steam rose up to the ceiling in scented swirls, the entire room hot from the spray, as Blaine pressed Kurt up against the wet, tiled wall, one hand pulling his hips back slightly to keep the baby from getting hurt, his hips pressing forward until they were connected from Blaine's lips on the back of Kurt's neck to his toes against Kurt's heels. "I love you," he whispered, and the lump pressing against Kurt's throat burst, tears spilling down his cheeks, washed away almost instantly by the hot water pounding over their entwined bodies. "Please don't cry, Kurt. Do you want to stop?"

"Never," Kurt murmured, and craned backwards to kiss Blaine, letting the relief of their reunion wash over him, Blaine's arms around his waist, his hands wandering over his chest and belly, his lips skimming kisses down his spine, the way his gasps deepened into grunts as they both lost themselves in it, the water quickly washing away any evidence of the reunion that shone in the fingerprints on Kurt's hips and the dazed look in Blaine's eyes.

Afterwards, they simply lay in bed together, covered by the sheet and smiling into each other's eyes, fingers tangling and entwining between them. "I love you," Kurt murmured sleepily, blinking hard to keep his eyes from sliding closed, and Blaine cradled him closer, both arms wrapped around him, keeping him safe.

"I love you too, Kurt Hummel," he whispered, as if it was a vow, an eternal promise. "I always will." Eyes bright in the gloom, he kissed Kurt one last time, lips soft and warm and comforting, and carefully helped Kurt roll onto his side, hugging him closer. With their bodies overlapping, connected, they drifted, still holding hands even as they fell into sleep.

* * *

><p>After the wedding, slumped on the couches in the small living room that lay in the centre of all their rooms, everyone who'd flown in from out of town and been gifted with a room agreed to give up the rooms, since there hadn't been a wedding, and either go home or stay with their parents for a while. Santana offered Kurt a ride back to his parents', but seemed to regret it when Kurt spent minute upon minute saying a lingering goodbye to Blaine on the stairs at the entrance of the hotel.<p>

When Santana pummelling on the horn shattered the silence of the grey morning, Kurt finally pulled out of their soft kiss, arms still loosely curled around Blaine's neck, one of Blaine's hand cradling the small of his back and the other curved over his belly. "I love you," Blaine murmured, pressing a wet kiss against the shell of Kurt's ear, his breath tickling until Kurt giggled and squirmed away. "Can I take you out on a real date tonight?"

"Well, you already put out on the first night, why would I need a real date?" Kurt teased, and Blaine grinned at him and raised his eyebrows as he leaned for another kiss.

"_Kurt_, I wanna _go_!" came a screech from somewhere in the vicinity of Santana's car, and Kurt leaned back with a heavy sigh.

"Call me, we can go out for dinner and a movie tonight," he said softly, smiling sweetly. "I love you too, by the way." Blaine grinned, and kissed him one last time, ignoring the persistent honking of the car horn, finally letting him go and watching with bright eyes as Kurt turned in his seat and waved until Santana rounded the corner jerkily and Blaine was out of sight. "Unnecessary!" Kurt protested loudly, putting a soothing hand over his bump.

"So was standing on those steps for half an hour just to give your boyfriend a goodbye kiss," Santana grumbled, pressing on far too fast. "Thanks to you, I'm not going to get home in time to empty that bottle of champagne I took from the bar over my brother to wake him up." Rolling his eyes, Kurt hunched down in his seat, tugging at the seat belt to stop it digging into his belly.

When Santana pulled up to the kerb next to his house and ordered him out, Kurt scrambled his belongings together and tugged at his sweater, trying to cover his belly. He didn't want his family figuring out that he was pregnant before he got the chance to tell them properly. Hearing the sounds of someone in the kitchen, he sighed heavily and left his bags in a heap by the door.

"How was the reception?" Carole asked, looking back over her shoulder to smile at Kurt as he took a seat at the table, pulling the fruit bowl over and starting to rearrange it by colour. "Finn called late last night, he said you spent a lot of time with Blaine. Anything happen there?"

"Can't I have any secrets?" Kurt asked, rolling his eyes fondly, and Carole laughed. "Yes, I spent a lot of time with Blaine last night. In fact, we decided that we weren't happy apart and got back together." Carole grinned at him, and Kurt smiled back before he sucked in a steadying breath, hand finding the swell of his belly. "Can I tell you something?"

Turning around and seeing how serious his expression was, Carole left her cooking and took the seat opposite Kurt, reaching for his hand and giving him an encouraging smile. "I'm pregnant," he said quickly, not seeing any point in trying to delay the inevitable confession. "It happened just before Christmas, me and the girls met a guy at work and Santana kept encouraging me and saying I was single and I should be putting myself out there and having fun so there was a one night stand and I ended up with a baby. It was an accident, I didn't mean for it to happen, I honestly didn't."

Carole reached over and squeezed his hand, smiling reassuringly. "Kurt, you don't need to make excuses, I'm not mad at you, and your dad won't be either," she said softly. "People make mistakes and accidents happen. God knows I never meant to have Finn as young as I did, but it all worked out in the end. Does...did you tell Blaine? Or did you want to tell us first?"

"I told him last night," Kurt said with a slight smile. "He said he was perfectly willing to be there for me and help raise the baby. It's going to be our son or daughter." Carole smiled again, and stood up as the door thudded open.

Finn and Burt walked in, and Kurt gave them both a weak smile. Burt immediately looked between the two of them, expression concerned. "What's going on?" he asked warily, squeezing Kurt's shoulder.

Seeing Kurt hesitate, shifting in his seat, scared of being judged by his own father, Carole took over and laid a hand on Burt's arm with a sweet smile. "We're going to have our first grandchild, Burt," she said softly, and Burt's jaw dropped, his eyes going straight to the curve of Kurt's belly beneath his sweater.

"I didn't even know you and Blaine got back together, kiddo," he said, and Kurt shook his head.

"We didn't. Well, we did, but only last night, it's not his baby," Kurt explained slowly, gnawing anxiously on his lip and searching Burt's face for any sign of acceptance. "I sort of gave in to the unmissable college experience of a drunken one night stand. Guess I'm living up to the stereotype even further now."

Tugging Kurt to his feet, Burt hugged him tight, and Kurt couldn't help but smile, tucking his chin against his father's shoulder and revelling in their acceptance.

* * *

><p>Life wandered resolutely on, no matter how much they wanted to stay in Ohio, the place they'd been so glad to leave but now held everything dear. Back in New York, Santana and Rachel rolled their eyes at Kurt's constant attachment to his phone, talking to Blaine and sending him pictures of their life, the life he would slot into easily after he graduated.<p>

Slumped on the couch with one hand on his bump, drawing small circles around his belly button, Kurt looked up when the door opened and Rachel threw a pile of papers onto his chest. "I thought I'd bring you the theory work, since I'm such a nice person," she said with a smile. "And the assignment for dance class this week is to choreograph and perform something sexy. Brody offered to help me, so I'm going round to his now, and then I've got the graveyard shift tonight. Santana's bringing dinner home, don't feel the need to do a thing."

"So is Brody helping you with the choreography, or_ helping_ you with the_ choreography_?" Kurt asked with a knowing smirk, raising his eyebrows pointedly, and ducked the wet glove Rachel threw at his head. "You can't assault me! I'm pregnant!"

"If the roles were reversed you'd do the same to me," Rachel said with a shrug, smiling briefly as she unearthed the smoothies from the fridge. "I'll be back around ten and eat at his place, feel free to eat enough for you plus octuplets." Kurt gave an emphatic shudder, hand instinctively finding his belly, and Rachel laughed and ducked down to kiss his cheek in goodbye.

Kurt spent the evening choreographing his dance for Ms. July, asking for Santana's critique and unable to help a wide grin spreading across his cheeks when she waxed lyrical on how much she loved it, poking her gently when she began melodramatically calling him the greatest dancer to ever live. Despite the bulge of his belly made more obvious by the tight material of his leotard, he tried his hardest to feel sexy, encouraged when Blaine responded to his picture of himself, showing off the bump to such an overeager father-to-be, with **You look amazing**.

But when he went to class the next day, the music had barely started before Ms. July was calling out, "No, no, stop, I've seen enough." Trying to ignore the giggles and whispers, the students all around him pointing and laughing, Kurt crossed his arms over his chest as Ms. July came over to him, prodding him in the swollen belly, his hand slipping down to rub the sore spot, protecting his child. "Are you aware that weight gain like this isn't sexy, Mr. Hummel?" she asked, and Kurt heard an outright snort from somewhere in the room. "I want you on a diet, you need to stay in top shape for this class."

"I'm sorry, Ms. July, but that's not going to be possible," Kurt said firmly. "I'm having a baby, and you are just going to have to deal with it. I'm only twelve weeks in, I'll only get bigger from here, and I was hoping you might be able to relax the work a little so I don't put too much strain on myself."

He heard something that sounded like, "_Whore_," poorly disguised as a cough, as Ms. July's eyebrows went up, her eyes wide and lip curling as she looked down at Kurt's bump again. "You know what else isn't sexy, Mr. Hummel?" she asked coldly, sneering at him. "Some naive slut getting himself knocked up in his freshman year mere weeks after a seemingly traumatic break-up. Get out."

Kurt tried to walk out with his head held high, pulling his black NYADA sweater over his head, tears prickling hotly at his eyes as he heard the sniggering and the whispers, everyone staring as he closed the door behind him. Still he didn't let himself break, stumbling along to the student bathrooms and collapsing against the sink, wrapping both arms around his belly and letting the tears slide down his cheeks, soft sobs jagged and loud in the silence. Scrambling for his phone, he dialled Blaine's number and dabbed at his cheeks with the edge of his sleeve as the phone rang and rang, praying Blaine would pick up.

"Hi sweetheart." And there it was, the voice that took him home, back to starlit nights around the fire with arms around each other and lips on foreheads, back to lying sweaty and sleepy and sated in the sheets, back to Blaine holding him when he'd thrown up in the middle of Chemistry after their condom broke and he'd been terrified he was pregnant. Blaine had been as perfect then as he was now, rubbing Kurt's shoulders and making him weak tea to try and steady his churning stomach, holding his hand and promising it would be alright while they waited for the result of the pregnancy test, and whirling him around the room when the result was negative, both of them overjoyed to not have to deal with this, not yet.

"Am...am I a slut?" he asked softly, and heard Blaine's sharp intake of breath, harsh and shocked. "Everyone keeps saying I am and maybe...maybe I believe them. I behaved like a slut, getting drunk and sleeping with someone I'd met a few hours ago. God, I threw myself at him, I deserved to get pregnant."

"Kurt, the only reason you would ever deserve to get pregnant is because you'll be a wonderful father," Blaine said softly, and tears spilled down Kurt's cheeks, his hand clasped over his mouth to silence his hitching sobs. "You're not a slut, honey, and you need to give me the names of anyone calling you that so I can show them how wrong they are. You slept with one person, you were both single and available and willing, and the fact that you were drunk doesn't change anything. The fact that you got pregnant was just an accident. None of that makes you a slut, none of it makes anyone a slut, but especially not you. I know you, and I know you're a romantic and amazing man who anyone should feel lucky to be with."

"I love you so much," Kurt whispered, wiping at his tear-filled eyes. "God, I love you, you're amazing. But how did you get out of class to answer a phone call?"

"I was worried, I thought it might be the baby, and I told my teacher it was a family emergency," Blaine explained, and Kurt smiled softly, laying his free hand over his belly. "We're a family now. You, me and the little boy or girl on the way."

"Girl." Kurt smiled as Blaine gasped, picturing his boyfriend's face lighting up in a grin, his eyes glassy with the tears that seemed to spring helplessly to his eyes whenever Kurt talked about the baby. "It's a girl. I found out when I had my appointment yesterday. We're having a little girl, Blaine."

"I love you," Blaine said softly, and Kurt smiled, biting back an even wider grin. "I'll call you later, I can't stand outside class forever. Got to go learn about volcanoes around the world."

"Ooh, _fun_!" Kurt exclaimed with false enthusiasm, and Blaine laughed, merry and light. "I love you too. Skype around six?" Blaine made an affirming noise and the line went dead. Smiling, Kurt stayed sitting on the tiled floor, slowly running his hands over his belly and talking softly to the little girl. "Daddy and Papa love you, jellybean," he whispered to her, before he heaved himself up and headed home for the day. There was no point in going back to class to be insulted any more.

Lying on the couch with a glass of Diet Coke, Kurt recounted the whole incident to Santana, wincing when she started threatening Ms. July in various creative and evil ways, watching her wander around the apartment as she got ready for work. When she eventually had to leave, she kissed his forehead and made him promise to eat something healthy for dinner before she left with a waggle of her fingers, blowing an exaggerated kiss.

Six o'clock found Kurt sitting at his computer watching videos of toddlers, eating fries and waiting for Blaine to come online. When the small _ping_ notified him that Blaine was calling him, he answered immediately, wiping his greasy fingers on a napkin and quickly running them through his messy hair. "Stop it," came Blaine's voice fondly through the speakers. "You look gorgeous."

Arching an eyebrow, Kurt said, "I'm eating pizza and wearing sweats, I look like a slob."

"Gorgeous," Blaine repeated with a grin. "You look so cuddly. I wish I was there to hold you." Stretching his arms above his head, drawing Kurt's eyes to the sliver of stomach displayed when his shirt lifted up a little, he asked, "So, do you have pictures or a video of the ultrasound? I want to see our baby girl."

"Of course I have a video, you think Rachel's going to take me to the hospital for an ultrasound without insisting on having a copy?" Kurt asked with just a hint of sarcasm, and Blaine grinned. "Hang on, it's on my phone, I'll send it to you. It's kinda strange, you have to squint to see where the baby is, I don't know how my doctor can tell it's a girl when I can barely tell where she is."

"She'll get bigger, and it'll be easier to see her," Blaine said softly, pulling out his phone and staring intently at the screen. Kurt watched him as soon as his own phone flashed up the notification that the video had been sent, and swallowed a laugh when he saw Blaine's eyes immediately glistening with tears. "_Kurt_, look at that, oh my God!"

"That's our baby girl, honey," Kurt said fondly, laying a hand on his bump and wishing Blaine was right next to him. "Rachel's insisting she has my nose, I don't believe her. She's a blob, you can't even tell where her face is."

"I know she'll look like you," Blaine said softly, dabbing at his eyes with the edge of his sleeve. "Your eyes and your nose and your hair on a baby girl. Honey, I'm so excited." Looking up at the screen, he said, "I'm coming up there to visit as soon as I can. I've cleared it with my parents, but I need to buy a ticket. I'm going to come see you for myself."

"Okay honey," Kurt said with a tender smile, blowing a kiss into the camera and smiling when Blaine solemnly caught it and pressed his hand to his heart. "I'll talk to you when I can, okay? I love you."

"Love you too," Blaine replied simply, and he left, the call window going blank. Sighing softly, already missing him, Kurt rolled over onto the bed and pulled his boyfriend pillow out from beneath the sheets, pressing his face against the shirt that smelt like Blaine and squeezing his eyes shut against the tears prickling them.

His phone vibrated on the nightstand, and he leaned over to pick it up and check. A laugh slipped past his lips, choked by tears, when he saw the photograph of Blaine, lips in an exaggerated pucker, above the text **I'm thinking about kissing you. And naming her. But mostly kissing you.**

Biting his lip, Kurt sent back** Is that so?** and waited for Blaine's response, already getting excited at the idea of sexting with Blaine. It wasn't something they'd done a lot of, and Kurt was still spending many quiet nights thinking about the night in the hotel room.

**Maybe. If I was there, I'd be kissing you right now. Hand in your hair, other hand stroking down your side, slipping under your shirt to touch your belly and your chest, then down, grabbing your thighs in that way you love.** Staring at the tiny letters winking up at him from his screen, Kurt imagined Blaine's hands on him, undressing him slowly and expertly, unwrapping him from his clothes and laying him out on the bed, kissing every inch of his skin. Sucking in a breath, trying not to rustle the sheets in case Rachel came in unexpectedly, Kurt slid his hand over himself, rocking into his own touch, eyes fluttering shut as the bedsprings squeaked softly, taking him back to the gloomy dawn of the day after Valentine's Day, Blaine's pelvis tucked against his ass, his hand on Kurt's waist, the swaying bed and the privacy and peacefulness of making love before morning came, of belonging with Blaine.

**Honey? Where did you go?**

**Wait...did you just...**

Kurt grinned at his phone, changing into his pyjamas and typing out **What if I did?**

**I'm just trying to come to terms with the fact that my boyfriend is jerking off miles away when I can't watch or listen or help.** Kurt couldn't help but laugh softly, tracing his fingers over the attached photo of Blaine pouting and placing one hand over his belly. There was no doubt in his mind that he wanted to raise his daughter with Blaine at his side.

* * *

><p>Accepting Kitty's kiss to his cheek when he stopped to hold the door for her, Blaine climbed into his usual chair between Sam and Tina and flicking through his pictures until he found the video and pictures Kurt had sent that morning. "Look at this," he said, unable to contain his grin, and hit play on the video. Sam and Tina both hooked their chins over his shoulder, squinting and tilting their heads every which way. "<em>Guys<em>, that's the baby!"

"Where?" Sam asked, brow creasing in confusion, and Kitty sighed heavily as she snatched Blaine's phone out of his hand, smiling at the pictures and watching the video.

"Oh my God, right there, you idiots!" she snapped, shaking her head at Tina and Sam. "That little thing that looks a bit like a peanut." She handed Blaine's phone back, asking, "Boy or girl?"

"Girl," Blaine answered, beaming down at his new background of Kurt's smiling face looking down on his swollen belly, stretching out the hem of his shirt. "It's just starting to sink in that this is really happening. Kurt's taking a term off for the baby and they're looking for a new place to live with room for her and I think I'm going to ask Kurt to marry me."

The group around him all grinned, looking at each other and applauding softly, until Jake interrupted the hushed celebrations by saying, "You're seriously going to ask him to marry you? You've only been back together a few weeks. How can you already be sure of him?"

"We were together for almost two years, I know how sure I am of him," Blaine said, folding his arms and raising an eyebrow at Jake. "Why is it your problem if I want to get married?"

"Well...you know what went down at Christmas," Jake said with a shrug, and Blaine could feel everyone around them tensing, hackles rising. "You were here waiting for him to acknowledge your existence, and he was out in New York getting drunk and sleeping with some guy he'd just met. Forgive me, but I don't understand how you can trust him after he acted like such a slut."

"Excuse me?" Blaine asked, fighting to keep himself from shouting, voice cold and harsh as steel. "Have you ever heard a little story about your brother getting Quinn drunk so he could have sex with her? Did you know you have a niece out there somewhere that happened that night? Think before you talk."

"At least Quinn and Puck knew each other before they slept together." Jake leaned over the back of his chair, chin on his arms, and cocked an eyebrow at Blaine. "How long was it between Kurt meeting this guy and sleeping with him? A few hours?"

Standing up, knocking his chair down and ignoring Tina trying to pacify him, Blaine snapped, "How long did you wait after leaving Marley's bed before falling into Bree's?"

"At least I'd known her for longer than few hours and I didn't make the decision to sleep with her after way too much to drink!" Jake shouted, pushing his seat aside with a hideous grinding sound and storming up to Blaine, inches away from him. "Your boyfriend's a slut who sleeps with random guys he picks up on the street. Who's to say he won't cheat on you the way you cheated on him?"

Blaine saw red, and for a moment all conscious thought was overtaken by the rage thrumming through his blood, every instinct in his body roaring to stop Jake from saying such awful things about Kurt, who'd already been through enough of it without their _friends_ thinking that way too. He could barely hear Ryder yelling, "Fight fight fight fight!" past the roar of his pulse in his ears, tackling Jake to the ground and pinning him down, punching every inch of him he could reach.

As he drew back his fist to punch him in the face, someone grabbed it, and a pair of arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him back and clutching him until he calmed down, panting and watching Tina help Jake to his feet, a dark kind of satisfaction rushing through him when he saw Jake wince. "Calm the hell down," Sam hissed, putting Blaine under his arm like a child and dragging him outside. "Blaine, what is with you? Why are you punching Jake when you're the one insisting we need to act like a team?"

"I won't stand by and let him talk about Kurt like that, if that's what you're suggesting," Blaine snapped, folding his arms. "I'm not letting him try and fit my boyfriend into his narrow-minded views. Kurt is not a slut!"

"I know, I understand that it makes you angry when people say he is," Sam said soothingly. "But until Nationals, you have to respect everyone in that room. This is our last chance to win, Blaine. Do you really want to let a petty thing like that ruin it?"

"Kurt is not a petty thing!" Sam held up his hands in a gesture of surrender, and Blaine sighed as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the black box he'd been carrying around for days, trying to summon up the courage to ask his friends to help with his endeavour. "Sam, he's the love of my life. If I don't care, why should anyone else?"

Sam stared down at the ring box in Blaine's hand, and finally spluttered, "You said you were thinking of proposing! Don't you think it's too soon? You're nineteen, Blaine, and you've only been back together six weeks." Looking at Blaine, he added, "You know what? Never mind. I'm not going to change your mind about this. I'll talk to Jake, okay? I'm sure he'll want to see you and Kurt get engaged."

Blaine nodded slowly, and Sam turned away, ordering, "Stay out here until you've cooled down a bit. Text Kurt for belly pictures, that always seems to cheer you up," and walked back into the choir room. Smiling a little when he heard Unique berating Jake for that moment while the door was open, Blaine stood up straight when he heard someone crying.

Rounding the corner, Blaine came across Bree perched on the bench where Mr. Schuester often sent people who got exhausted or upset or frustrated during rehearsals to sit and breathe for a while. She looked up at him and immediately stopped twisting her ponytail around her finger, wiping at her tear-filled eyes and snapping, "Go away."

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked softly, and Bree ignored him, staring at the opposite wall, lower lip quivering and tears slipping down her cheeks. "Maybe I could help you somehow."

"I doubt it," Bree said, glaring at him and shifting away when he sat down next to her. "It's not like your boyfriend had this decision to make. He has you. He didn't have an abortion."

Sucking in a slow breath, Blaine let it whistle past his lips and leaned closer to Bree, expression full of compassion, pulling a tissue out of his pocket and offering it to her, keeping his eyes from straying down to look at her stomach. "You know, Kurt did the scariest part by himself," he said comfortingly. "All the symptoms, the suspicion, taking the tests, being scared that everyone would think less of him, that I would hate him, he didn't have anyone to turn to through any of that. He kept it hidden, and his roommates figured it out for themselves. But you don't have to be alone."

Turning her tear-filled, swollen eyes on him, Bree snapped, "You think I didn't try and talk to Jake? He basically told me to go ahead and get on with it. He doesn't give a crap, he won't even try to help me. Jerk-ass."

"He is," Blaine agreed, and Bree laughed softly as she blew her nose. "Bree, if you change your mind and keep the baby, or if you need anything, you can come to me. If you need it, I might be able to get Kurt to talk to you about it. I know he told me he'd considered having an abortion."

"My mind's made up," Bree said, shaking her head. "But if I manage to get knocked up again, I'll come to you and your boyfriend." She gave Blaine a small smile, and he nodded encouragingly, standing up and leaving her alone, gritting his teeth at the very idea that Jake would abandon her and then turn around and accuse Kurt of being a slut.

* * *

><p>"Blaine!" Sitting bolt upright in bed, Kurt clutched the blankets up around him, breathing coming harsh and heavy and heart pounding erratically, curving one hand over his belly in an attempt to calm himself. He jumped violently when his curtain was swept aside and Rachel came in, shuffling groggily and using her phone as a torch. "Rach, go back to bed," Kurt said, trying to still the tremors shooting through his body. "I'm fine."<p>

"Screaming your boyfriend's name and being so pale and scared doesn't seem fine," Rachel says, sitting down on the bed next to Kurt and placing her phone between them, her face full of worry as she searches Kurt's eyes for his secret. "What happened?"

"It was just a silly nightmare, don't worry about me," Kurt said, and sighed when he found Rachel giving him an inquiring look. "Okay, I'll tell. I dreamt that I was in the hospital, with the baby, and I was waiting for Blaine to come and see her. Then someone came in, but it wasn't Blaine, it was Cody, and he took her off me and she looked just like him and I couldn't find Blaine and I was sure he'd left and I'm so scared, Rach. What if he does leave me? He's convinced she'll look like me, but what if she doesn't? What if it's obvious she's not his child? What if Cody comes back and wants to be involved in her life?"

"First of all, Blaine is not going to leave you if your daughter resembles her biological father," Rachel said reassuringly, taking Kurt's hand in hers. "That's just genetics, that's not something anyone can help. Blaine loves you, and he loves the baby, he wants to stay with both of you. And secondly, if you don't want Cody involved in the baby's life, he won't be. It's your baby and your decision and you can keep him away if the idea of him seeing her makes you uncomfortable. You're the one he got pregnant and left to deal." Looking down at her lap, she added, "It could just as easily be me in your position right now, and I wouldn't let him get a foot near any child of mine."

"Of course it wouldn't be you, Rach, you at least had enough common sense to recognise his sleaziness rather than give in," Kurt said, looking away from her, and wincing when she grabbed his chin and forced him to look at her.

"None of us saw the sleaziness until he ran out on you, Kurt, we were blinded by all that eggnog," she assured him, firm and concise. "Look, if you hadn't been the first one to respond, he would've gone for me, and I'd be the pregnant one."

"But of course I'm the one he picked because I'm the slut in this apartment." Turning away from Rachel, he slid both hands over his bump, getting more pronounced as he moved closer to his fifth month, and looked back when her head slipped over his shoulder, her hands coming to cover his.

"You are not a slut," she said, meaning in every syllable, her eyes full of faith in him. "You just happen to get a bit flirty when you're drunk, the same way Santana gets emotional and I get clingy. It's not a character fault, it's just what happens when your inhibitions are lowered. If you think of yourself as a slut, it makes it okay for everyone else to think that too. You have to think of it as a positive experience. It might not have been the experience you hoped for, but at least you can cross something off your bucket list."

"You read my bucket list?" Kurt asked loudly, and Rachel gave him a smirk. "Rachel, that's private! Especially that section, you shouldn't be looking at my things!"

"Oh please, Santana found it, I just got curious," Rachel said with an airy wave of her hand. "I hope you wrote that one night stand wish before you and Blaine got together." Kurt just laughed, relaxing, and Rachel smiled as he reached over to his nightstand to look at the framed photograph of his last ultrasound, smiling softly. "We're going back to Ohio for the weekend, by the way. The seniors are having a big last party before graduation sort of thing and Tina told me Blaine wants you to be there. We've booked a flight to leave at eleven on Saturday so we can get into Ohio early."

* * *

><p>Checking his hair one last time in the wing mirror, rolling the window further down and fanning himself with the directions Santana had printed off to the hall where Sam was hosting the party - he couldn't figure out why they weren't having it at someone's house, but it was probably because they didn't want to get drunk and silly around their parents - Kurt looked out when Santana stopped, leaning across him to roll up the window. "Are they having this party at Dalton?" he asked, brow furrowing in confusion as he climbed out of the car.<p>

"Well...it's not exactly a party," Rachel said, linking her arm through Santana's and smiling at Kurt with eyes bright with tears in the sunshine. "It could be. But only if you say so."

Reaching for her, ready to comfort her and ask why she was upset, Kurt looked up when the doors were opened by two boys in the neatly-pressed uniform, music trickling out, and the balcony suddenly filled with Warblers, all singing as Rachel and Santana grabbed Kurt's hands and dragged him up to the school entrance, straightening his blazer and sending him through the doors to find Blaine standing there, eyes shining and smile bright, singing every word with his gaze on Kurt's as he swept him through the foyer into the main corridor, Kurt smiling when he found every member of New Directions, old and new, standing there in their red costumes, bobbing and dancing as they all smiled, the ones he was closest to welcoming him with hugs and kisses.

As the music played on, New Directions joining in to back Blaine up, he drew Kurt into a slow dance around one of the small rooms, one Kurt recognised from their days there together, just beyond the choir room where they used to hide from other Warblers to kiss during long rehearsals, and he smiled softly, tears springing into his eyes at the memories. "I love you," he whispered to Blaine, and Blaine smiled, releasing him and letting Rachel and Santana leave their dancing partners to link their arms through his and drag him along as the song built to its triumphant end, pulling him to the top of the staircase where Blaine had taken his hand that first day and reminded him that people cared.

Watching the crowds, spilling down the stairs and into the hallway, everyone he'd ever found companionship with, his boyfriend in the centre, grinning and bright-eyed as he joined in the chant of,_ "He loves you, yeah yeah yeah!"_ Kurt knew what was happening. And he knew exactly was his answer was going to be. It was the same answer he'd had on that first day, at their first kiss, their first time, when Blaine had given him the promise ring, the night they'd finally reconnected after their break-up, at the wedding when they'd gotten back together, and every day they'd fallen a little more in love.

Blaine stepped up to a few stairs below Kurt as the music and the applause faded away, smiling, voice loud as he addressed the crowd as well as a teary-eyed Kurt, saying, "We met right here. I took this man's hand, and we ran down that hallway, and for those of you that know me, you'll know I'm not in the habit of taking the hands of people I don't know. But I think that my soul knew something that my body and my mind didn't know yet." He lowered his voice, speaking just for Kurt, stepping closer and taking his hands, smile comforting as he watched the tears slip down Kurt's cheeks. "It knew that our hands were meant to hold each other's, fearlessly and forever, and in every lifetime that you and I have ever lived we've chosen to come back and find each other and fall in love all over again, over and over, for all eternity." Deliberately, one of Blaine's hands came to rest on Kurt's belly, and Kurt sniffed as he slid his fingers through Blaine's, keeping them connected and protecting their child as Blaine softly said, "And I just feel so lucky that I found you so soon in this lifetime, because all I want to do, all I've ever wanted to do is spend my life loving you."

"I love you so much," Kurt murmured, and leaned down to capture Blaine's mouth in a long, deep, searching kiss, the kind to seal their bond as soulmates, Blaine's hands a steadying presence at his hips and his own fingers tangled into the collar of Blaine's blazer, hauling him closer.

As they broke apart to a swelling chorus of wolf-whistling and whooping, Blaine pulled the square black box out of his pocket, and new tears welled up in Kurt's eyes as he watched Blaine go down to one knee, opening the box to reveal a silver engagement ring, gleaming and waiting for Kurt to accept it. "So, Kurt Hummel," he said, beaming up at Kurt, "my amazing friend, my one true love, will you marry me?"

There was barely a breath of anticipation before Kurt nodded, voice thick with tears when he said, "Yes, yes, of course I will!" and threw his arms around Blaine's neck, kissing him with the passion of years, the cheering all around them almost louder than the frantic beating of his heart. As they parted, both trembling and tearful, Blaine took Kurt's hand to slide the ring onto it, further tears sliding down Kurt's cheeks as he looked at the silver band stretching across his finger, Blaine's arms curling around his waist and pulling him in close.

Even when the crowds started to disperse after hours of chatter and celebration, leaving only their friends behind, begging them to come out for dinner and celebrate, Kurt just laid his head on Blaine's shoulder, lacing his fingers through Blaine's where they rested on his belly, and smiled when Blaine politely said, "Maybe tomorrow, okay? We just want to be alone tonight."

"Well we all know what that means," Mercedes said with a grin, winking at Kurt and laughing when he winked back, pulling Blaine in for another kiss. "We'll book a table for Breadstix about seven, that gives you ample time to reunite before remembering you have friends to celebrate with." Kurt nodded eagerly, and the laughter echoed behind them as Blaine steered him outside, climbing into his car and driving away, heading towards his empty house.

The moment they burst through the door they were in each other's arms, letting their blazers slip to the ground, blue against yellow, Blaine breaking away momentarily to hang both up and take off his shoes, sliding his hand into Kurt's and guiding him up the stairs. Standing outside his bedroom, Blaine turned to Kurt, running a caressing thumb across his cheek as he whispered, "Are you sure? With the baby, I thought you might not want to. We can just watch a movie and cuddle, if you want."

"Are you kidding me?" Kurt asked, pressing Blaine backwards into the door, breathing warm across his neck to make him shiver. "I want to. I _really_ want to. Why are you even questioning it?"

"I wanted to respect your feelings," Blaine said sweetly, lowering the door handle and tugging Kurt inside, unbuttoning his shirt, eyes raking hungrily over his bare chest. "Thank God for pregnancy hormones."

"Watch it," Kurt snapped, and Blaine grinned, unbuttoning his own shirt and pulling Kurt across the room to his bed, coaxing him into his lap, lips hot on his neck. "Oh my God,_ oh my God_, Blaine!" Blaine smirked triumphantly, sliding his hands down to cup Kurt's ass, dragging him closer, lying down and pushing them both higher up the bed, sweeping the pillows onto the floor to give them more room. Thighs spreading, Kurt felt Blaine's erection against the inside of his thigh, his hips rutting for friction when Kurt kissed him, tangling his fingers into Blaine's hair.

"Been thinking about this all day," Blaine moaned, and pushed his cock up against Kurt's thigh, moaning at the friction, messily smearing kisses and long lush licks over his neck, whispering, "Ride me," into his sweat-dark hair. Kurt whined and let his legs fall open, let Blaine's eager hands slide down the curve of his spine to his ass, tugging his pants down for his hands to cover his cheeks and squeeze, nails digging pale crescents into his flushed skin.

Blaine pulled Kurt even closer, pushing his pants the rest of the way down with his feet, kissing him and wrapping his fingers into his hair, sucking kisses hungrily over his bottom lip, and Kurt was gasping, voice hitching higher and higher, as Blaine's teeth scraped down his neck, leaving long trail of red. He was scrabbling desperately at Blaine's pants, tugging them down and rubbing his fingers over the indentations left on Blaine's skin from the waistband, moaning when Blaine's cock surged against his, and Blaine raised his head to kiss softly at Kurt's cock.

Tipping his head back and moaning softly, eyelashes fluttering, Kurt pushed Blaine back and murmured, "Stop, stop, I want to come with you inside me," reaching over to Blaine's nightstand for the lube and condoms.

Blaine caught his hand and begged, "Can we not please not use a condom, please? I want to feel you," and Kurt moaned and kissed him, straddling his hips so Blaine's cock rested between his cheeks, and he could rub back onto it, eyelashes fluttering and cheeks laced with hectic red as Blaine wet his fingers with lube and reached between Kurt's cheeks, rubbing slow circles around his hole.

Kurt dropped his head between his shoulders, both hands on Blaine's chest to prop himself up, idly playing with his nipples, and there was a constant stream of rough whispers slipping from his lips, chest rising and falling erratically with every laboured breath as he hissed, "Oh _yes_, please don't stop, please touch me, please, I want it, I love you, fuck_ yes_!" Blaine's fingers slid inside him, opening him up slowly and carefully, touching his thighs and his belly all the time, reassuring him softly, and Kurt was just liquid, shaking with desire, moaning, "Feels so good, feels so_ fucking good_!"

"It's okay," Blaine murmured, soft, nonsensical comfort, petting at Kurt's hair with his free hand. "It's okay. This is it, honey. We're going to spend the rest of our lives together." His eyes were wide and wet and loving as he paused and looked up at Kurt, saying, "This is the first day of the rest of our lives. I love you so much."

"Oh, I love you too." As Blaine's hand came up to cup his cheek, Kurt turned his head to kiss at his palm, so turned on and too warm and shaking everywhere as Blaine's brow creased in concentration, whispering, "Please hurry up, please."

Blaine was kissing his wrists and hands, paying particular attention to his left, the ring gleaming bright in the sunlight streaming through the window, and saying, "I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't, I'm ready, I want you now," Kurt promised shakily, rutting into Blaine's stomach, their skin sticking with sweat. Smiling softly and reassuringly, Blaine touched him and calmed him and helped him lift up and slide down onto Blaine's cock, slowly, slowly, but Kurt was hungry for it, impatient, and slammed down, both of them crying out and clutching at each other, aching and desperate.

While they were both still adjusting, Kurt slowly moving his hips and trying to get used to the stretch, both of them breathing heavily and flushed and sweaty, Blaine wrapped his hands around Kurt's hips and groaned, "I'm so into this."

Balancing himself with his hands on his fiancé's chest - a thrill ran through him at the very idea that there was a new label on their relationship, that they were going to spend the rest of their lives together - Kurt asked, "Me being pregnant?"

Rutting his hips up slightly, sending a shock of arousal simmering through Kurt's belly, Blaine hastily said, "You don't understand, honey, it's so_ hot_, seeing you all round and big like this, carrying our baby." Kurt wanted to correct him, but then Blaine kissed him and repeated, "Our baby," and Kurt wanted to believe him, hot flashes chasing over his skin as Blaine started to thrust eagerly up into him.

There had always just been something about Blaine acting a certain way in bed that did it for Kurt, when he got excited and loud and babbled through everything. He did it then, lacing his fingers together at the small of Kurt's back, face all concern as he asked, "Are you okay, honey?" An incoherent shout left his lips when Kurt proved it, planting his hands on Blaine's belly and rocking onto his cock, faster and harder, finding the right angle until Blaine hit his prostate with every thrust, Blaine's belly glistening with pre-come, and Kurt closed his eyes and moved desperately, every one of Blaine's moans spurring him on.

Kurt was exhausted, and felt the burn in his thighs, his back starting to ache from the weight of his belly, but he wanted desperately to finish. Running his fingers in a circle around Blaine's nipple, watching the way he arched into Kurt's touch, Kurt moaned, "Touch me," hissing out through his teeth when Blaine's hand wrapped around his cock. He rocked frantically between Blaine's hand and his cock, head tipping back and hips pistoning out of control as he came, all over Blaine's chest and stomach, going limp as Blaine growled possessively and rolled them over, crouching low over Kurt and thrusting hard and fast until he came, teeth on Kurt's back and Kurt's name on his lips.

For minutes, there was silence but for their breathing and heartbeats and, finally, the slick sound of Blaine pulling out and padding away to get something to clean up with, and when he came back Kurt waited until they were both clean before he rolled onto his back and pulled Blaine down for a soft, sweet kiss and whispered, "I love you."

Blaine nuzzled his nose into Kurt's shoulder and kissed his eyebrow and said, "I love you more." He reached down for Kurt's hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing his engagement ring and smiling blissfully.

"Can I ask you a question?" Kurt asked, and Blaine nodded, laying his head on Kurt's shoulder and draping his arm over his bump. "Why now? Why not wait? Is it because of the baby?"

"It would be the same if there was no baby," Blaine said softly, leaning up to kiss Kurt sweetly. "It would be the same no matter what was going on. I love you and I want to spend my life with you. I want a marriage and a family and I decided to ask if you wanted that to."

"Of course I do," Kurt whispered, and kissed Blaine, pulling him closer. Watching Blaine lean down to retrieve the pillows and blankets, Kurt curled closer to him as they lay down to sleep. "I should tell you, I've been a little hard to wake up since I got pregnant. Rachel and Santana have been suffering trying to get me up in the morning."

"Oh, I have methods they'd never even consider," Blaine teased, and Kurt laughed, Blaine's arms winding around him and pulling him close, letting them both drift off to sleep.

* * *

><p><em>The headboard crashed against the wall, shaking down dust from the ceiling. A vague reminder to tell Rachel to actually dust the ceilings rather than just saying she had flashed across Kurt's mind, until he was pulled out of his own head by the sharp pressure of Cody's teeth on his ear. Pushing his thighs roughly apart, Cody growled, "Look at you. Such a slut for my cock."<em>

_Head rolling back against the pillows, Kurt went silent as Cody grabbed at his hips, bending him almost in half, groaning, "Love your whore ass, take it so well, so hungry for it, such a slut." He kept repeating it, over and over, until it forced its way down into Kurt's heart, that tiny sinister voice that hissed **You're a slut**._

Bolting upright, Kurt clutched the blankets close, breaths coming out erratic and laboured, wrapping a hand around his bump. "Kurt?" The light flicked on and Kurt blinked against the brightness, glancing at Blaine, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of his concerned eyes. "Honey, are you okay?" He reached over to swipe his thumb across Kurt's cheek. "Kurt, you're crying. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," Kurt murmured, wiping his tears away with the back of his hand and trying to give Blaine a reassuring smile. When Blaine leaned closer, putting a hand on Kurt's belly and looking up at him with eyes full of love, Kurt quietly said, "I never really told you what happened that night. The guy I slept with, he...I guess you could say he liked talking dirty. And not in the nice way. He kept calling me a slut and a whore and I...I believed him. What other kind of person sleeps with someone they just met?"

"Kurt, please stop calling yourself a slut," Blaine pleaded, squeezing Kurt's hands. "You're not. Having a one night stand doesn't make you a slut. You were just having fun." He smiled and leaned down to kiss Kurt's belly softly, adding, "And we're getting a baby girl out of it."

"Do you think we can really raise a baby?" Kurt asked doubtfully, his voice soft as Blaine's fingers gently traced his features, eyes tender and focused entirely on his face. "Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't just let some couple who've been waiting years for a child adopt her. I feel like she'd have a better chance with someone who isn't struggling to balance college and an internship and a job to keep the rent paid on time."

"Honey, worst comes to worst, I'm willing to leave college and wait until she's a little bit older before going back," Blaine said, leaning over to press a comforting kiss to the crease between Kurt's eyebrows, making the frown lift as Kurt smiled up at him. "Looking after our baby is important to me. I'm honestly so excited for her, I don't know if I'll even be able to go to school, knowing she's at home waiting for me."

"I'll make you," Kurt threatened lightly, and Blaine laughed softly, kissing at Kurt's shoulder and tracing his fingers down Kurt's belly. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, Kurt sat up when he saw the red numbers blinking six o'clock in the morning. "Oh my God, sweetheart, go back to sleep. I didn't mean to wake you up so early."

"Why would I want to go back to sleep when I have all this," Blaine's gaze swept hungrily down Kurt's body and back up to his face, "in bed with me? It might be weeks before we can see each other in person again, I want as much time as possible with you now." He skimmed kisses down Kurt's neck, fingers coming up to play with his nipples, as he murmured, "And you know I love you like this."

"All swollen ankles and mood swings," Kurt joked, and Blaine just rolled his eyes fondly, leaning down to kiss him. "Honey, I know it's been a long time since we've been free to have sex in person, but I'm so tired. It's another side effect of being pregnant. Can we please go back to sleep?"

"I don't want you to have nightmares, Kurt," Blaine said quietly, biting at his lip nervously and dragging a thumb down the sílvery tear stain on his cheek. "I don't like seeing you cry. Especially not over some coward who ran out on you."

"You and Santana need to become much closer when you move in with us," Kurt said, rolling into his side and pressing back into the warmth of his body, Blaine tugging the blankets over both of them, tucking the side in so Kurt was tangled into a comforting cocoon, walled in by Blaine's body. "I love you."

"I love you too," Blaine breathed in his ear, and pressed his lips to the back of Kurt's neck, wrapping his arms further around him. Snuggling back into his fiancé's embrace, Kurt closed his eyes and let himself drift, keeping the words _Having a one night stand doesn't make you a slut_ blinking bright at the front of his mind.

* * *

><p>Though the celebratory dinner that night was exciting and full of loud chatter and corks popping out of bottles, Blaine's hand a constant presence on Kurt's belly, Kurt couldn't help but notice that not everyone was there. The brunette he'd met briefly at the wedding, Marley, had apparently told Unique she couldn't make it out so late two nights in a row and her mother didn't want her out, and Jake had decided not to come. When Kurt had asked Puck why, he'd ducked his head awkwardly, scuffing his foot across the ground, and mumbled some stupid excuse.<p>

"I feel a little insulted, to be honest," he said, the table emptying as people started checking their watches and realising they had to get home, few still remaining. Mercedes reached across the table to take his wrist comfortingly, squeezing gently, and Kurt continued, "They were there yesterday, why didn't they just come out and celebrate with the rest of us? They're missing out on some quality time as a real group."

"Kurt, I have to be honest with you," Tina finally said, ignoring Sam and Blaine frantically shaking their heads at her as she leaned across the table, shifting her arm for their long-suffering waitress to refill their drinks for perhaps the sixth time. "Jake and Marley aren't here because they're in agreement that they feel your pregnancy was the result of you acting like a slut. They both think it was trashy of you to sleep with someone you'd just met, while drunk and not using protection. Obviously, none of the rest of us feel like that, and we've tried to show them the error of their ways, but they appear to be very traditional in their family values. Despite Jake being the biggest womanizer this side of the original Puckerman."

"Excuse me?" Kurt asked coldly, and Tina shrank back at the glares Sam and Blaine gave her from either side of her. "They think I'm a slut? Jake Puckerman, who walks around cheating on his girlfriend with girls he then knocks up and hangs out to dry, thinks _I'm_ a slut?"

"Tina!" Blaine snapped in reprimand, then laid a hand soothingly on Kurt's arm. "Sweetie, please, don't get upset, you know it's not good for the baby. Please stay calm, they're idiots, they don't know what they're thinking, they're not _right_ at all, you're not a slut."

"I know," Kurt said, his voice deliberately calm, steely with anger, and held out a hand. "Rachel, give me the keys to your car." She dropped them into his palm with a manic jangling, and he turned to kiss Blaine, soft and sweet, then said, "I'll call you later, honey. Can I stay at your place again tonight?" Blaine nodded, and Kurt smiled at him, unearthing his wallet and leaving it in the centre of the table. "There's some cash in there, use it to cover my share of the bill."

He left the restaurant with courage in his heart, climbing into Rachel's car and picking out Jake's address from her compilation of the contact details of every glee club member, in case she wanted to host an impromptu reunion. Placing a hand over his belly, he practiced his speech to the baby all the way to his house, repeating it aloud over and over again until he breathed every word, until he understood exactly what he was going to say. Knocking on the door, he was greeted by Jake's mother, who looked down at his bump with a hint of surprise in her eyes. "Jake's in his room," she said sweetly. "I recognise you from the photos at the reception party. You look very well."

"Thank you," Kurt said with a smile. It wasn't her fault, after all. She'd had Jake when she'd been in a relationship with a married man, she must've gotten the same comments and looks he had. Turning around, he walked straight up the stairs and opened the door to Jake's room, folding his arms across his swelling chest and glaring at the boy scrambling to stand up from his bed.

"What the hell do you want?" Jake asked, sneering at him. "Did my mom let you in? I told her I didn't want to see anyone from glee club. I gave my excuses for not coming out tonight to Puck, he promised he'd tell you."

"Oh, he didn't, Tina did," Kurt said, and he saw Jake relax minutely, at least until he coldly added, "She told me that you, and your ex-girlfriend who you cheated on, both feel that my choices make me a slut. Why do you think that way about me, Jake?"

"You know damn well what you did," Jake snapped, disdainful eyes drifting down to stare pointedly at Kurt's belly, straining against his shirt. "You thought you were so big, getting over Blaine while he was stuck here in Lima, thinking about you, hoping you would call, so disappointed when you didn't. You kept him on a string, waiting for you when you weren't missing him at all."

"Of course I missed him, I missed him every day!" Kurt shouted, his attempts to stay cool and calm slipping away. "I desperately wanted to see him, but it was still at this delicate stage when neither of us was sure how far we could push. If I hadn't missed him, do you think I would've gotten back together with him so soon?"

"If you missed him, you could've called him and asked him to come visit, or hauled yourself onto a plane or into a car and come here, rather than getting some low-paying job for unsuccessful actors and picking up the first attractive guy you saw there," Jake sneered, and Kurt felt every word like a blow. There was no way he could know what had happened, only Rachel, Santana and Blaine knew the true story, none of them would've told him, but every one of his assumptions was scarily close to the truth. "If you had really missed Blaine, you would've at least tried to talk to him, rather than getting drunk and sleeping with some stranger and getting your freaky self knocked up. How can you not see that seeing you pregnant, and happy to be it, is killing Blaine? It's bad enough that you slept with someone else and let people know without shame, but you're happy to be having someone else's kid, and that's not fair. I don't know how he can trust you."

"So let me get this straight," Kurt said, putting a hand over his belly, trying to protect his baby from the poison dripping from Jake's lips. "You, the boy who was proud of the way he was working through the female population of McKinley, thinks I, someone who has slept with only two people my entire life and happened to accidentally get pregnant, am a slut. And you think I'm a freak, that I shouldn't be able to carry children even though I was born this way. I'm here to give you a dose of reality, Jake." He leaned in close, voice icy cold and dangerous, as he said, "I'm not a slut. And you're not a slut. Nor is the girl you cheated on Marley with. You know why? Because it's not fair to judge anyone for the decisions they make, drunk or sober, and you can't call anyone names because of how much sex they do or don't have." He folded his arms and stared Jake down, hoping to make him slink away in shame. "And I do feel ashamed that I slept with someone else, and I don't want to be, I know I shouldn't. Blaine has told me I shouldn't. But I do, and that's because of narrow-minded people like you who tell me to be, who tell me I should give up my baby because it might affect Blaine if she looks like her father. Blaine doesn't care that it happened, he only cares about our future together. If my fiancé doesn't care, then why should you?"

Turning on his heel to leave, Kurt looked back and said, "Oh, and one more thing. You got Bree pregnant and you just left her to deal with the consequences, you didn't even help her make the decision of whether she would carry the baby. You're no better than the guy I slept with."

Leaving Jake sitting on the edge of his bed, hopefully ashamed of himself and concocting some elaborate apology speech, Kurt left the house with nod and a wave to Jake's mother, getting back into Rachel's car and letting a smile spread across his face as he reversed out of the driveway, rolling the window down and singing as he drove back to Blaine's house, finding his fiancé waiting for him on the porch, running to the car to open his door and pull him out and into a hug. "Where did you go?" he asked, breathless and panicking. "I was so worried, you seemed so upset and then you just left and didn't tell anyone where you were going."

"I went and gave Jake a piece of my mind," Kurt said, grinning at Blaine. "I told him exactly what I think of his views on our baby, and it felt amazing. God, it's been so long since I really let it rip, I've just been waiting for an opportunity like this." Taking Blaine's face gently between his hands, he whispered, "Thank you."

"What did I do?" Blaine asked, his hands finding their way to Kurt's belly, petting gently at the stretched skin. "Never mind, you can tell me after we have some wild farewell sex."

"Blaine, you are the first person since that night that's made me believe that I'm not a slut," Kurt said, smiling softly at his fiancé. "Rachel and Santana tried so hard, but no matter what they said I just remembered the way they looked at me when they saw me with him. Just for a second, they both looked so disappointed, like I'd betrayed them somehow. I don't want people to look at me like that, and I believed in everything people said about me. But then you still loved me despite that, and then I realised that it really didn't matter to you. And if it didn't, then maybe I wasn't what everyone said I was. One guy doesn't mean someone is throwing themselves around. It means that it's Christmas and they're trying to hide how lonely they are."

"I would've come if you'd called," Blaine said softly, brushing a stray strand of hair back behind Kurt's ear and stretching up to press a light kiss to Kurt's lips. "You know that, right?"

"I would've been happy to see you," Kurt replied simply, and smiled as Blaine's hand wrapped around his and pulled him into the house, pushing him up against the door and sliding his hands up beneath his cardigan.

* * *

><p>Saying goodbye to Blaine in the airport in the morning, Kurt couldn't help but cry, clinging to Blaine like it was the last time they'd ever see each other. "Kurt," Rachel said gently, "I don't want to interrupt, but that's the last call for us to go through security. If we don't go now, we'll miss our flight and have to go through all the hassle of swapping our tickets with our bags already on this plane."<p>

"Okay," Kurt said thickly, wiping away his tears and putting on a brave smile, leaning in to kiss Blaine one last time. "I love you so much, please call me later."

"I promise," Blaine said solemnly, his voice quivering with emotion, and Kurt couldn't help throwing his arms around him again, burying his face in Blaine's already sodden shoulder, feeling the people around them staring as he cried into the crook of his fiancé's neck. "God, Kurt, honey, I love you so much. I don't want you to leave."

"I don't want to leave," Kurt whispered into Blaine's skin, tears dripping down his cheeks, dabbing at his red, swollen eyes. "But I see you really soon, right? You can come visit as soon as you want, or I can drive back here to see you. And I'll call you all the time and send you pictures and keep you connected with our baby."

Both of them jumped when Kurt felt a nudge against his belly, pulling out of Blaine's embrace to place a hand there. Another firm nudge came against his hand, and he clasped a hand over his mouth to hide a wide grin, tears of joy filling his eyes and making his vision glassy as he exclaimed, "Blaine, she's kicking! The baby's kicking!"

"Oh my God!" Rachel came rushing over, ignoring Santana rolling her eyes in despair, placing her hand over Kurt's bump and squealing when the baby kicked in response. "She likes me! Oh my God, hi baby! This is your Auntie Rachel, and I'll teach you all the best musicals to watch and lots of songs to sing along to and how you should always listen to your daddy because he's the wisest man I know."

"Hey honeys, not to be a downer, I'm as excited as you are, but I really don't want to miss this flight, we'll have to miss another day of work," Santana called, and Kurt finally pulled himself back into reality, kissing Blaine one last time, smiling as his hand snuck in for one last feel of his belly.

The flight was mercifully quick, Rachel keeping her eye on Kurt in the hopes he wouldn't spend the next hour after they got back throwing up like he had when they'd come back from the wedding, and when they got home they had enough time to leave their suitcases on their beds before changing and rushing over to work. Pausing outside the door, Kurt glanced down at his hand, smiling at his engagement ring gleaming in the sunlight, and walked in with his head held high.

"Okay, so today the special is-" Kurt cut himself off when he saw the woman's eyes flickering back and forth between his hand and his bump. "Can I help you?"

The woman reached beneath the table and pulled out her purse, unearthing a wad of notes and tucking them into the top pocket of Kurt's uniform. "To help with the baby," she said with a soft smile. "And the wedding."

Giving her a grateful smile, Kurt started when someone grabbed him from behind, Dani spinning him around and gawking at his hand. "You got engaged?!" she asked, loud and overexcited. "Why didn't you tell us as soon as you came in?" Leaning back on her heels, she observed, "Look at you, nineteen with your life all sorted out. You've got a job where you get plenty of tips, you're at college doing what you love, you have an internship at Vogue, you have a nice place to live, there's a baby on the way and now you're engaged."

"Well, she's not my fiancé's baby," Kurt corrected, following Dani back behind the counter, smiling at the regular customers who usually gave him friendly tips to help with the baby.

Dani waved an airy hand and winked as she said, "Mere semantics, dear. When I was your age, I was unemployed and living rent-free with a lovely old lady because I cooked and cleaned for her. And look at you, Mr. Pregnant and Engaged." Kurt shrugged modestly, smiling secretively as he slid his left hand over his belly, ring gleaming, allowing himself a moment to simply think of a future with Blaine, married to him, with their baby girl between them.

* * *

><p>"How many more steps, Rach?" Kurt asked, pulling at the scarf Rachel had tied tightly around his eyes. "Come on, Blaine's arriving from the airport really soon and I promised I'd go pick him, Sam and Artie up and bring them over here for the welcoming party."<p>

He yelped when Rachel slapped at his hand, snapping, "Don't you dare look, we're not there yet!" Sighing heavily, Kurt let her shuffle him around the apartment, not knowing where she was taking him, until she triumphantly squealed, "We're here!" and whipped off the blindfold.

Eyes adjusting to the sudden bright light, helpless tears sprang to Kurt's eyes when he looked around the tiny room that they'd haphazardly thrown all their random junk and empty cardboard boxes into when they'd moved in and found it had been transformed. The wall were painted a soft cream and the carpet was brand-new and clean white. A crib had been set up with pink and white bedding, a mobile hung with shimmering butterflies twirling above it, and all manner of toys littered the floor, a pram and high chair waiting in the corner. "Oh my God, you guys!" he exclaimed, clasping his hands to his mouth, Santana looking proud as she laid the stuffed bunny down in the crib and sashayed over to him. "How could you afford all this?"

"Well, we had a little help from a certain doting daddy," Santana said smugly, and plugged her ears at Kurt's happy shriek when Blaine, Artie and Sam emerged from behind the curtains, Sam and Artie popping the cork off a bottle of lemonade and pouring it into champagne flutes and Blaine throwing his arms around Kurt, hugging him so hard his feet came flying off the ground. "Well shit, Hummel, no need to make my eardrums bleed."

When Blaine finally let him down, Kurt hit him across the arm with the scarf Rachel had wrapped around his eyes, shouting, "You lied to me! You said you were getting in at three and wanted me to meet you at the airport! You dirty little schemer!" As Blaine cowered away, Kurt dropped the scarf, eyes filling with tears, and pulled him in close, pressing their mouths together in a deep, searching kiss. "I love you so much. Did you really pay for all this?"

"No, your dad helped us along, but I did do all the painting and building the furniture while you were working or in class," Blaine said with a small, smug smile. "I've been in town since the day after graduation, living at Sam and Artie's place. I really wanted to start our life together by giving you a really amazing surprise."

"Well you did," Kurt said with a small grin, and slid his arms around Blaine as he kissed him again, ignoring Santana trying to insistently press a glass of lemonade into his hands. Blaine's hands slid down his spine, circling his waist and coming to rest on the swell of his belly, enormous now that he was almost seven months pregnant.

"I'd like to propose a toast," Rachel said, emptying the dregs of the bottle into her glass and holding it high, smiling around at them all. "To our lives in New York, the city where dreams come true. And may everything that happens from here on out keep us and," she smiled affectionately down at Kurt's bump, "any new addition to our little family happy and healthy and together. To us!"

"To us," the other five of them echoed, clinking their glasses together and drinking. Snuggling in against Blaine's side, kissing his cheek and smiling at his expression of wide-eyed wonder when the baby kicked out at his hand, Kurt looked around at the room waiting for their child and hoped that his life in New York would be happier than ever before.

* * *

><p>Smothering a yawn behind his hand, Kurt pinned a smile onto his face and waltzed through the crowd to Elliott's table, smiling at him and asking, "The usual? Fries, milkshake, and an enormous tip for me?"<p>

"Are you okay?" Elliott asked, his eyes flickering over Kurt's face. "You look exhausted and pale and just not quite right. Maybe you should go home." Kurt shook his head aggressively, then stopped abruptly when it made his surroundings swim out of focus and his ears buzz with static.

"I'm fine, I passed out as soon as I got home last night, slept for sixteen hours and very nearly came in here late," he answered chattily, hoping Elliott wouldn't notice that he really wasn't feeling right. "I'm a bit hungry - or rather, the baby is - but once it's a bit less jammed in here I can sneak something from the kitchen and no one will even notice. God, you're worse than Blaine."

Scribbling down Elliott's order and ignoring the constant sideways looks beneath his furrowed brow, Kurt turned on his heel and squeezed himself back through the lunchtime crowds to the counter. Thank God his paternity leave was starting soon - he couldn't keep working in such a crowded place in the height of summer. Plucking at the back of his shirt, grimacing when he felt the sweat sliding down his spine, Kurt filled another cup with ice water from the cooler in the staff room and knocked it back in one gulp, mopping a hand across his brow.

"God, you must be miserable," Dani said as they stood at the counter taking change. Casting an eye over her adjusted version of the uniform, skirt tucked up and shirt fastened several buttons lower, the electric fan whirring back and forth on the counter in the prime position to keep her cool, Kurt nodded and sighed, fanning himself with his hand. "Why don't you go back into the freezer and keep cool, I'll handle all this. The baby has to come first."

"Thank you," Kurt said, and stretched over to kiss her cheek gratefully. "I'll just stay out here for five more minutes, then I'm supposed to be back there doing inventory anyway." When Dani cast him a doubtful, worried look, he rolled his eyes and insisted, "I'm fine, Dani. Really."

Looking down the line, stretching further and further out of the doors with every minute, probably composed entirely of people looking for somewhere with air conditioning and cold drinks, Kurt went disturbingly cold in the heat when he saw a familiar face. That static crept into his ears again, buzzing until he couldn't hear a thing, even though he saw Dani's lips moving, her eyes full of panic, the entire diner buzzing with activity, but all he could see was that face, that man he'd never thought he'd see again, standing there easily in the light of the day, not even seeing him.

"_Kurt_!" Somehow he knew it was a scream, even though the sound was muted, and through the constellations of shapes and colours he somehow made out two red blurs running towards him, feeling frantic hands on his arms, his back. Santana and Rachel, their arms strong, a cradle as he sighed softly and let the blackness simply swallow him up.

When he forced his eyes open again, feeling as if each eyelid was impossibly heavy, he was staring at white, floating among the clouds. Slowly, trickling back like water through cupped hands, he took grip on the stands of reality and pulled them all together, finding himself in a room, white on white on white, the smell of disinfectant heavy on the air. Hospital. He was in the hospital.

"Help," he croaked desperately, and immediately there was a sweet face over his, bright like the sun. "Who are you? Where am I? Can I see Blaine?"

"Your fiancé just went down to the cafeteria for something to drink, he's been glued to your side since he got here," the woman, the nurse, said sweetly. "You were out for six hours, Mr. Hummel. It's almost midnight, you gave everyone quite a scare. We're not really sure was caused you to collapse, but it was probably a combination of the heat you were working in and low blood sugar due to not eating enough." Kurt couldn't help but want to say something, to say that it had been shock too, that he'd seen someone he never wanted to see again.

The door swung open, and Blaine stood there, like an angel, his eyes red and swollen, and he almost dropped the coffee cup he was holding when he saw Kurt ease himself into a sitting position, swinging his legs off the bed and standing carefully, rushing over to hug Blaine, tears prickling his own eyes when he felt the wetness of Blaine's slicking the crook of his neck, hearing his wretched sobs. "God, Kurt, I was so worried, I was so _scared_, they said the baby was fine and you'd be fine but I was so scared, I've been here the whole time, I love you so much..."

"You're free to go home, Mr. Hummel," the nurse said with a smile. "You were fine once we got your glucose levels back up, we were just waiting for you to wake up. Make sure you keep eating small, regular meals and don't get too hot. I'd recommend starting leave from work now, if you can. It's far too hot for you to be working such a strenuous job in your condition."

"Thank you so much," Blaine said, smiling at her through the tears still streaming down his face, and he clung to Kurt's hand as he took him out to where a taxi was already waiting, pulling him as close as the seat belts would allow and kissing him, fervently passionate and desperate, hands combing through his hair, touching his face reverently, as if making sure he was still real. "Oh God, Kurt, never scare me like that again. I was expecting them to tell me that you were permanently hurt, or the baby hadn't made it, I couldn't stop thinking what I'd do without you. What happened, why did you faint?"

When they'd gotten back together, Kurt had promised himself that there would be no more secrets. Secrets worked their way down into the foundations of a solid relationship and ripped it apart, dark tendrils coiling around every column and turning it to dust. But he couldn't tell Blaine this. If he told him he'd seen Cody again, he might jump to conclusions and then they'd be back where they'd been before their break-up, that edge of resentment and hiding while the surface was all sunny smiles and pet names. "It's like the doctor said," he said with a shrug. "I was too hot and I hadn't eaten for a while. I just need to be more careful, for our baby's sake."

Blaine smiled so brightly that guilt squirmed in Kurt's veins, and he wanted to tell him, but then they pulled up outside the apartment block, and Blaine tipped the driver extravagantly, helping Kurt of the back seat and pressing a loving hand against his bump. "Now, when we get inside, are you too tired for a passionate 'I'm so glad you're okay' blowjob or is that something you want?"

Kurt's answer was to kiss Blaine, right there on the lamplit street, a searching kiss, dirty from the moment their lips touched, and then Blaine grinned and took him by the hand and they took the stairs as fast as they could, going into the empty apartment and shaking off their shoes, Blaine's hands replacing the scent of hospital clinging to Kurt's skin with a familiar musk, pushing him back into their bedroom and locking the door, eyes dark as he watched Kurt sit on the end of the bed and spread his legs, fingertips resting against his inner thighs, expression coy and dark and inviting.

And for that half an hour, as Blaine pulled Kurt's climax from him with long tight strokes of his lush mouth, and then straddled his thighs and jerked himself off until he came in stripes across Kurt's belly, swirling his fingertips through the mess to draw stars and constellations on his skin until Kurt swatted him and told him to clean up, Kurt managed to forget about the possibility that Cody could come blasting back into his life and ruin the new castle he'd built up so carefully. He lost himself in Blaine's scent and his skin and every caress he gave to Kurt's body like it was the most precious gift, but then the light went off and Blaine's soft snuffling snores filled the aching silence, and that void within Kurt yawned open again, and he hid his face in his pillow and tried not to think, not to feel, to believe that the baby inside him was Blaine's and theirs and that her real biological father would not come blasting in and wreck all Kurt's dreams of domestic bliss with Blaine.

* * *

><p>Half-asleep and melting against the couch in the heat, Kurt started when a knock came on the door, smoothing a hand over his belly and twitching up his shorts as he crossed the room, calling, "For God's sake, Rach, I'm here all the time, you don't need to come back for your key every time!" Unlocking the door and dragging it open, he staggered back, hand clasping over his mouth in shock, when he found Cody leaning on the frame with a smirk on his face, eyes looking around the apartment and then at Kurt, seeing the swell of his belly straining against his shirt.<p>

"I thought it was you," he said, sauntering casually into the apartment and snatching an apple from the fruit bowl, slumping down onto the couch and staring contemptuously up at Kurt. "Asked the boss there for your address, said I was worried about you, and that sap believed me. So who put a baby in you, Kurt?"

Trying to swallow his fear, clasping a hand against his bump to reassure himself and affecting a strong, impenetrable persona, Kurt looked up and said, "You. That night you were at our place, I ended up pregnant. And no, I never had any intention of telling you, and I don't want you anywhere near my baby."

Cody's relaxed expression abruptly turned steely, his voice dangerous and angry. "You're a fucking carrier and you didn't tell me before we fucked?"

Before he could swallow them back, the tears spilled down Kurt's cheeks, his voice ragged with sobs as he shouted, "I was drunk, don't you think it was your responsibility to make sure you used protection?!"

Infuriatingly casual, glancing at the back of his hand and lifting an eyebrow at Kurt's bump, Cody easily confided, "I've never used protection. All those people, and it's always worked out for me. But the first _freak_ I fuck gets knocked up and doesn't have the guts to tell me."

Clutching his belly, trying to keep the baby from hearing her father say such awful things, his cheeks laced with furious red and eyes filled with tears of frustration, Kurt screamed, "How was I supposed to tell you when I couldn't even get in touch with you? You didn't even tell me your last name!"

Cody sprang up from the couch and crossed the room faster that Kurt could move away, hands either side of his head and walling him in, saying, "I want it to have my last name. You have to let me see it or I'll take you to court and get visitation rights. It's mine too."

"No!" Kurt sobbed out, trying to hide his face in his hands, tears hot on his skin, trembling as Cody leaned in closer, too close, and he was overwhelmed and trapped and couldn't get away, heart pounding and the baby kicking, obviously feeling his distress. "You can't see her, you can't meet my baby girl, I don't want you to. You don't deserve her or me. I've already chosen someone else, someone who'll be a far better father than you ever could be."

"Don't you remember that night?" Cody asked, smirking and leaning closer to Kurt, so he was forced to turn his head sideways against the wall to keep him away. "Don't you remember how great it was, the two of us? When you just kept flirting all night and then you finally decided to shove your tongue down my throat and it was the best first kiss I'd had in a long time? When I sucked you off against that table with your roommates right around the corner? Then we fucked all night. It was fantastic. You were fantastic."

"I remember how you left before I even woke up and didn't leave me any way to contact you," Kurt said firmly, pushing Cody off him and moving away. "I remember how I started feeling sick and tired and had cravings and knew exactly what it all meant. I remember believing that my friends would all hate me and judge me. I remember taking the test alone and scared and thinking I would do it all with no one by my side, and bursting into tears when it was positive. You screwed me over."

"I could screw you again," Cody said, his eyes gleaming and his lips twisted into a smirk, and he grabbed Kurt around the waist, one hand skating over his belly, sending a wave of revulsion crashing over Kurt. "Just say the word, babe, and I'm all yours for the evening." He grabbed at Kurt's hand, looking at his engagement ring, the silver piece he revered, the thing that told the whole world that he was a man in love and wasn't afraid to show it, and he smirked knowingly at it, swiping his thumb across the band, tainting that perfect bond with his stain. "How can there be someone else after us, huh? You can't be satisfied with him. Not after the way you screamed my name."

Before Cody could kiss him, his grip tightening at Kurt's hips, the door slammed open and Blaine walked into the apartment, quivering with barely-contained fury when he saw the scene. Forcing his way between them, he bundled a sobbing, buckling Kurt away from Cody, coaxing him into the armchair and taking his hand. "Who's this guy, sweetheart?" he asked softly, carefully brushing tears away with the pad of his thumb.

_Falling onto the bed, fingers tangling into the bars of the headboard, trying to lose himself in the feeling of Cody's fingers playing with his nipples, Kurt opened his eyes with a heavy sigh when the weight of Cody's body lifted and he asked, "Who's this guy, babe?" Glancing over at his nightstand, Kurt saw the picture of Blaine, the last he'd left on display, because taking them all down felt like he was letting go, and he wasn't ready to do that yet. It had been taken by the shaking hands of a tearful Mercedes at their graduation, Blaine wearing Kurt's graduation cap and blowing a kiss to the camera, eyes bright with happiness._

_"That's just my ex, don't worry about it," he said with false airiness, reaching over and slamming the frame down onto its front, closing his eyes and beating back the barrage of memories as he let Cody's lips find his again, hand sliding into the back pockets of his jeans, squeezing insistently._

Gulping violently, Kurt shook his head, swiping the back of his hand angrily over his wet eyes, pleading, "Just get him out of here."

Squeezing Kurt's hand reassuringly, Blaine turned around and shoved Cody out of the door, snapping, "Come back here again and I'll have you arrested for harassing my fiancé." As the door slammed shut, Blaine locked it and crossed the room back to Kurt's side, tentatively placing a comforting hand on his knee and taking his hand. "Sweetheart, please don't cry. It's okay, he's gone, he won't touch our baby. I won't let him. He's not going to try and get to you any more."

Kurt was still shaking when they went to bed, even after forcing himself to eat dinner, glass clacking against his teeth every time he took a drink, Santana bouncing her foot agitatedly next to him and mumbling threats under her breath. Winding his arms around Kurt's waist, kissing the back of his neck softly, Blaine murmured, "It's okay, sweetheart. He's not coming anywhere near you or our daughter."

Even with Blaine's body warm next to his, the reassuring rhythm of his breathing on the air, Kurt still lay stiff in the bed, curled over the pillow keeping him from rolling onto his belly during the night, trying to push away the day, return to his happy dreams of raising this baby with Blaine and Blaine only, marrying him and perhaps, one day, potentially having more children. But when sleep finally took him in its grip, he dreamt of Blaine walking in on him with Cody, his eyes betrayed and heartbroken, and awoke, screaming, to the clock blinking two in the morning, rolling onto his side and grabbing at Blaine, tears in his eyes as he begged, "Please forgive me, please, please don't leave, please forgive me."

Blaine's eyes gleamed in the late-night gloom of their bedroom, and he sat up slowly, rolling Kurt onto his back and leaning over him, eyes soft and loving and tender, and softly said, "You don't need me to forgive you. You need to forgive yourself. God, Kurt, honey, you didn't do anything wrong. This baby is a blessing, to me, and I'm not going to let him anywhere near her. I know he threatened to take you to court, but there's no way he could win a custody battle against us."

Throwing his arms around Blaine's neck, Kurt mumbled, "I love you so much," into his neck, smiling as Blaine leaned down over him and kissed him softly. "And you can tell Santana and Rachel to stop trying to keep the baby shower a secret, I found the invitation mock-ups in Rachel's dresser weeks ago."

Blaine smiled down at him, brushing his hair back behind his ear, and kissed him again, hands gently covering his belly, the bed creaking beneath them as Blaine threw a leg over Kurt's thighs and cupped the back of his head.

* * *

><p>With his head on Kurt's chest and fingers walking over his belly, murmuring soft nonsense to the baby, Blaine looked up when Kurt let out a soft whimper, the bottom dropping out from the pit of his stomach and a nervous cold skittering over his skin. "Are you okay, honey?" he asked softly, and Kurt shook his head, sitting up and clutching at his belly. "Kurt? Is it time?"<p>

Whistling out a breath between his teeth, Kurt nodded slowly, smiling weakly as Blaine took his hand and eased him up, helping him off the bed and into the loose clothes they'd picked out for going to the hospital. When Kurt had to pause halfway through retrieving his shoes, leaning heavily on the dresser and whimpering, Blaine knew this was real and not just the Braxton Hicks contractions they'd both been trained to look for. "Keep calm, honey," he whispered softly, reaching out to rub Kurt's tense shoulders. "It's going to be okay. Our little girl's coming to say hello, isn't it fantastic?"

"You're not the one who has to get her out," Kurt grumbled, and Blaine smiled affectionately and leaned up to peck a kiss to the end of his nose, grabbing the overnight bag already stuffed with a change of clothes for both of them, the zipper stretched to its limits by the sheer amount of blankets and clothes for the baby, plus books and travel-sized board games for Rachel and Santana while they waited outside. They'd all sat down when Kurt hit eight months pregnant, when the apartment was still in shambles after the baby shower, and agreed that only Blaine would go into the birthing room with Kurt, and Rachel and Santana would wait outside, possibly with Sam and Artie.

"Rachel?" Blaine called, and the music blasting out of Rachel's room stopped abruptly, and she opened the door in her leotard, sweeping her hair back from her sweaty forehead. "Kurt's in labour. Can you go by the diner and get Santana, and call Sam to see if him and Artie want to come too? I'm gonna get Kurt to Doctor Miller, then I'll come out to see you all."

Tears filled Rachel's eyes, glistening in the sunlight streaming through the window, and she threw her arms around Blaine's neck, enveloping him in the scent of her perfume. "Oh my God, Blaine!" she squealed in his ear, mopping at her eyes with the back of her hand. "You're gonna be a papa!"

Blaine couldn't help the grin that slipped onto his face, hugging Rachel back before he went back to Kurt, bunching up their blanket beneath his arm and letting Kurt lean on me as they took the stairs slowly, one at a time, Kurt stopping to lean against the wall in the foyer, a single tear squeezing out from beneath his closed eyelid and sliding down his cheek. "Don't want you to see me cry," he mumbled, and Blaine pulled him close and kissed him, sliding a hand down to touch his belly.

"I can't even imagine the pain you're in right now, honey, of course you're allowed to cry," he said, and Kurt smiled wanly at him, collapsing onto a bench while Blaine waited for a cab to arrive, sparing worried glances for Kurt when he started whimpering again. Checking his watch quickly, he noted that the contractions had been eleven minutes apart, knowing it would be important to let the doctor know.

By the time they got to the hospital, Kurt was crying in earnest, face already red with exertion, and Blaine was trying to hold back his own tears, stroking Kurt's back, long sweeping reassuring caresses up and down his spine, and wishing he could do more. "It's gonna be okay, sweetheart," he promised as he took a wheelchair and helped Kurt into it, pushing him up to the doors. "We're here now, you can get the medication and Dr. Mills will help you along. We're finally going to meet her."

"I can finally stop being hot and miserable and weepy," Kurt observed in a monotonous voice, wiping the tear tracks from his cheeks, and panting hard through another contraction, looking up to give Blaine small smile as he ran his fingers gently through Kurt's hair. A man sitting in the waiting room gave them an odd look, tilting his head at Kurt, and Blaine couldn't help but feel a surge of pride when Kurt snapped, "Yes, you are looking at a man in labour. Nature is amazing."

Getting Kurt changed into the hospital gown and settled in the bed, Blaine felt his phone buzz in his back pocket and squeezed Kurt's hand as he said, "Everyone's here and waiting outside, I'm just going to see them, I'll be right back."

Kurt nodded slowly, and Blaine smiled tightly at Dr. Mills as she swept in with cheerful smile, inching past her to find Sam, Artie, Rachel and Santana waiting in the corridor, each hugging him and patting his back, feeling him shaking. "Thank you for coming," he said softly, voice shaking in a way he stopped himself from letting it do in front of Kurt. Handing Santana the bag filled with various forms of entertainment for the likely long wait. "Dr. Mills told us last week it's likely to be a long wait, so just get comfortable. Rachel, can you call mine and Kurt's parents and let them know?" She nodded and pulled out her phone.

Sam reached over to clasp Blaine's hand, squeezing his fingers reassuringly together and smiling up at him from under his overlong hair. "It's gonna be fine," he promise. "Awesome and everything. You're gonna get a baby, and maybe it's not really as painful as the doctors say. Maybe that's just a scare tactic."

All five of them winced when a scream echoed out from Kurt's room, and Blaine gave his friends one last smile before ducking back inside, listening patiently to Dr. Mills explaining that it would still be a long time before Kurt was ready to go to delivery, and Kurt murmuring, "Blaine, I _can't do this_!" to him as she left, his voice strained and panicking. "Oh my God, it already hurts and we've barely started, it's going to get so much worse. I can't, Blaine."

"You can, honey, I believe in you," Blaine said, taking Kurt's hand. "If you can come to New York with nothing waiting and still thrive here, you can have a baby. Look at everything you've been through and still you're brave and passionate and wonderful. You _can_ do this."

As the hot, heady evening faded into night, over the next six unbearably long hours, Kurt's screams of agony became a lot more frequent, his fingers tightening around Blaine's to the extent that he could hear his bones crunching. And Blaine felt so inadequate, there was so little he could do, just dab Kurt's face with a wet flannel and get him cups of ice chips and hold a bowl beneath his chin when the pain made him throw up, tears slipping down his raw, sweat-shiny face. Dr. Mills came in and out every hour, examining Kurt and giving them an estimate on how much longer it would be, that Blaine relayed to their waiting friends every time he went to get more ice chips or an extra blanket when Kurt started shivering violently.

"She's causing as much of Kurt's screaming as her father," Santana observed under her breath when Blaine walked past again, earning four shocked looks for her trouble. "What? Everyone knows I'm here to make inappropriate jokes to hide how scared I actually am." She turned frightened eyes on the door when Kurt screamed again, saying, "He's not going to get seriously hurt, is he? I mean, do the doctors know what they're doing?"

"Of course they do, they're highly-trained professionals who specialise in male pregnancy," Blaine reassured her, squeezing her hand. "Don't worry about him, San. Concentrate on getting all the inappropriate jokes out of your system now, and not upsetting my fiancé."

Pushing the door open again, Blaine looked up to find Kurt smiling through his tears, looking across at him with eyes full of love and saying, "Blaine, Dr. Mills says I'm ready to go to delivery! This is it, Blaine! We're having our baby!" Blinking back tears of absolutely joy, Blaine crossed the room and leaned over the bed to kiss Kurt, smiling as Kurt's arms draped over his shoulders and he kissed back with the same overwhelming adoration that Blaine felt humming warm through his veins. "I love you," Kurt said under his breath, keeping it small and glowing and private between them, as two nurses started wheeling his bed into delivery, past their grinning friends, as Blaine walked along beside him, holding his hand and smiling down at his ashen face.

For Blaine, every agonising second of the last hour of Kurt's labour seemed longer and longer, watching Kurt's face creased with agony, glistening with sweat, red and blotchy with tears, his hand clutched tightly in Blaine's as Dr. Mills continuously encouraged him, keeping up a running commentary of, "Good, good, we're almost there now, just a few more minutes."

"You said that half an hour ago!" Kurt snapped, slumping back onto the bed and turning his tear-stained face to Blaine. "Blaine, promise me something. Promise you won't look? Because if you do, you won't ever have sex with me again, and I don't want that."

Smiling affectionately and rubbing Kurt's chest through the hospital gown, Blaine said, "I promise. But when it's our next baby, I'm watching. You only want two kids, anyway."

"I knew the only reason you wanted sex with me was so we could have ki- Oh my God, _ow_!"

"She's crowning," Dr. Mills said with a small smile. "Keep pushing, Kurt. I promise, this time I really mean it when I say we're almost there." She winked at Blaine and he gave her a wan smile, squeezing Kurt's hand tightly and putting a soothing hand on his tensed shoulder, tears springing immediately to his eyes when the lusty crying of a newborn baby filled the room, and Kurt lay back down on the bed with a smile on his exhausted face.

"I did it," he said softly, looking at Blaine with such a fierce pride shining in his eyes that Blaine had to lean over and kiss him, hand straying into his sweat-dark hair.

"And here is your beautiful baby girl," Dr. Mills said, bringing the swaddled baby over to them, laying her in Kurt's arms and letting both of them look at their baby girl's tiny pink face, scrunched-up as she wailed her greeting to them, finally opening her eyes and letting them see how blue they were, big and bright and framed by long, dark eyelashes.

"She has your nose," Blaine said, and Kurt laughed, giddy with delight, and kissed him again, the arm not supporting their baby's head curling around Blaine's neck to pull him closer. "Kurt, we have our baby! Our little girl, and she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." Kissing Kurt's temple, he murmured, "I'm so proud of you."

"I thought of a name, in between contractions," Kurt said, and Blaine leaned in closer to him. "Ella Grace Hummel-Anderson. Ella means bright light, and Grace means effortless beauty, and she's a Hummel-Anderson from her head to her tiny baby toes. Do you like it?"

"I love it," Blaine said tearfully, carefully taking the baby from Kurt's eyes, cradling her tiny body in his arms and looking down at her with nothing short of reverence. "Our little Ella." Looking up when Dr. Mills said they would take their little family to recovery, Blaine gave Ella back to Kurt and went outside, finding all their friends waiting eagerly, if looking like they'd just woken up. "Do you want to come and officially welcome Ella Grace Hummel-Anderson to the world?" he asked, and Sam started whooping in triumph, Santana burst into tears and Rachel pulled Blaine into a hug so tight it hurt his ribs.

After a brief mishap when all four of them tried to pile in and the nurse on duty insisted on family only until Kurt wore her down, Sam was the first to hold Ella, looking down at her in awe, gently rocking her back and forth. "You're going to need to build a tower with sheer glass walls to keep boys - or girls - away from her," he said. "She's a keeper."

"She looks just like you, Kurt," Santana said affectionately, kissing Kurt's cheek and giving Ella another glance. "Look, she's already learned to bitch-glare at me the exact same way you do when I make an inappropriate joke." Kurt just rolled his eyes at her and made grabby hands at Sam for her, obligingly holding her to let a teary-eyed Rachel take pictures until the flash scared Ella into crying again.

Sitting on the end of Kurt's bed, watching their friends chattering away and pulling out all her little outfits, carefully considering each one, Blaine exchanged a secretive smile with Kurt as he pulled up his shirt to let Ella feed, marvelling at the fact that he could be so happy and so in love and a father less than year after making a decision he had feared meant he would never hold Kurt in his arms again. Crawling up the bed, he pressed a soft, fleeting kiss to Kurt's lips and murmured, "I love you so much."

"I love you," Kurt replied, and held Ella close to the warmth of his stomach as he stretched across to kiss Blaine back, both of them smiling into the kiss and breathing each other in.

* * *

><p>To the amazement of their families, who had both charitably offered their assistance in the event that Kurt and Blaine couldn't handle a newborn, their lives settled into a routine fairly quickly after Kurt and Ella were pronounced healthy and discharged from the hospital. Having her in a separate room meant they could set up a rota of who would attend to her when she cried, and both Santana and Rachel had the baby monitors in their rooms too, ready to spring up at the first hint of a wail. Thanks to living with two more people, both Kurt and Blaine were able to get enough sleep to function most nights, and had some time to spend together. But mostly, they got to know their daughter, learning the way she snuffled when she was waking up, and how she'd blink at them disdainfully in a way Rachel insisted Kurt did in the exact same way, and how big and blue and happy her eyes were, and the way she sighed every time she finished feeding.<p>

With Ella half-asleep, rocking her gently in his lap, on the day she turned eight weeks old, Kurt sighed heavily when the doorbell rang, drilling through the relative silence of the apartment, just the sound of the bacon for lunch sizzling and the quiet buzz of chatter from the TV and the whirring of the washing machine, and jerking Ella fully awake again, her lower lip quivering in a threat to cry. "Don't worry, sweetie, Daddy's here," Kurt cooed to her, holding her against his shoulder as he climbed up to answer the door. "It's just a doorbell, baby, it won't hurt you."

He opened the door and almost rolled his eyes when he saw Cody standing there, his eyes going straight to Ella, pushing her face into the soft material of Kurt's sweater. "Why won't you let me see my daughter?" he asked. "I warned you, I'll take you to court and get the rights I deserve. I'm her father!"

"Only biologically," Kurt corrected, beckoning Blaine over and handing Ella to him, smiling at the natural way he was with her, peppering her head with kisses and talking nonsense to her. "I believe you've met Blaine, my fiancé. Didn't he tell you we'd call the police if you came here again to threaten me with losing custody of my daughter? As if the courts would ever give her to you."

Stepping closer, Kurt let his voice go deep and dangerous as he said, "How many people have you slept with? People who were lonely and vulnerable like me. How many of them have you screwed over? How many of them did you call a slut or a whore? Because let me tell you, I'm sure every one of them was like me and broken up by being called that by someone they trusted enough to have sex with. Did you ever wonder if any of them got pregnant? I bet you didn't, you're only after me because you have this sudden urge to claim what's yours." Eyes softening as he glanced at Ella, cooing and wriggling in Blaine's arms, Kurt snapped, "She's not yours. Only in blood. But in love and the connections I choose for her, she belongs to Blaine and I. I chose him to be her papa, and he's worth ten of you. So get out, go back to sleeping with the single mothers who come to Santa Land, and don't come near me again or I'll take out a restraining order."

Slamming the door shut in Cody's face, Kurt turned back to Blaine and pulled Ella back into his arms, blowing raspberries to see her giggle and smiling as she tucked her head against his shoulder. "Holy shit," Santana croaked, her jaw hanging open in shock. "That was impressive. He'll be leaving with his tail between his legs."

Blaine grinned as he came over to Kurt and wrapped his arms around his neck, whispering, "That was really hot," before he kissed him, deep and searching. Tugging at the bowtie tucked neatly against Kurt's neck, he smiled and said, "My strong, handsome, bossy fiancé."

"You've always loved when I get bossy," Kurt said darkly, and leaned down to kiss Blaine again, relenting when Rachel came to take Ella from him to wrap both arms around Blaine and tug him in close, kissing him until he forgot to breathe, in a way they hadn't really kissed since Ella's birth.

That night was the first time they made love since the birth of their daughter, and it was overwhelming. The way Blaine's touch felt after so long, his kisses all over Kurt's sensitive chest, the way he worshipped the swell of his stomach that he was determined to lose, Blaine's body pliant beneath his, his hoarse whispers of, "C'mon, fuck me, want you inside, haven't fucked me in over a year, come on, Kurt, give it to me." The way his hips churned, their bodies pressing close and their lips meeting in long, dirty, desperate kisses, hands combing through hair and moans muffled into heated, sweat-glazed skin, until finally they collapsed against each other, smiling softly and touching gently, hoping that the moment would never have to end.

* * *

><p>Rachel insisted that Ella's first Christmas was a cause for celebration, despite Kurt's exasperated, "She can't even hold her own head up yet, Rach, let alone appreciate her first Christmas!" She bought antlers for everybody and took photos that Kurt knew he would later sneakily delete from her phone, and Santana insisted on bringing out helium and performing a triumphant reprise of <em>Christmas Don't Be Late<em> that had both Ella and a slightly tipsy Sam laughing. On Christmas Eve they followed Kurt's family tradition of opening one present each, and Santana leaned forward and insisted, "This one!" when the time came to pick Ella's.

While Rachel cooed affectionately and photographed Ella playing with the wrapping paper, fascinated by the colours and patterns of it, Kurt shelled the present open and rolled his eyes when he found a Santa-themed sleepsuit for Ella inside. "I thought it was funny," Santana said with a grin, and Kurt smiled and leaned across to hug her.

"It's a very sweet and thoughtful gift to keep my little girl warm," he said, and Blaine reached over to take his hand as Santana shrugged modestly, chucking Ella under the chin and leaning against Sam, lifting up her mug of hot chocolate and watching the snow falling outside the window.

Much later, when Sam and Artie had gone back to their apartment, Artie propping up Sam after drinking too much of the eggnog recipe Santana had made sure they saved for future years, and Santana and Rachel had gone to bed after bathing Ella and tucking her into her crib, Kurt and Blaine were still curled up together on the couch, Kurt's head on Blaine's shoulder, his eyes closed in contentment. "It's amazing how much can change in a year," he said softly, snuggling further into Blaine. "This time last year, I was still upset that my one night stand had run out on me without even leaving a last name, I was still heartbroken over you, I was starting to feel sick and I was so scared of what that meant. Now I'm engaged to you, we have a baby girl and I've told Cody exactly where to shove it."

"Are you happy?" Blaine asked suddenly, putting an arm around Kurt's shoulders and pulling him close. "I know I'm happy with you and Ella and the girls, living here. But are you?"

Smiling reassuringly, Kurt kissed Blaine softly, and said, "I'm happier than I've ever been. I live in the city I've always wanted to live in and go to the school of my dreams to do what I love, I'm marrying you and we have an adorable little family. I'm happier than I thought I would be when all this started in January."

Beaming, Blaine leaned in to kiss him, but broke away when Ella started crying. Pulling him back, Kurt murmured, "It's Santana's night. Let her take care of it," and slid down the couch to be under Blaine, kissing him slowly and sweetly, letting the sheer weight of his love for Blaine consume him. "I promise, Blaine, I'm always happy with you. No matter what the circumstances are, no matter what goes wrong, no matter how much I want everything to be different, I am always happy with you. I love you."

"I love you too," Blaine whispered, and wrapped his pinky finger around Kurt's ring finger, promising the truth in his words. "And as much as I love this, I can't listen to her cry. She must be hungry." Rolling his eyes at Blaine's dogged devotion to their already-spoiled daughter, Kurt smacked his ass lightly as he walked away, and settled back onto the couch, waiting for Blaine to bring their baby to him so he could watch Blaine's face as he looked on. Proud and happy and amazed that this was their life, that everything could change so dramatically in such a short space of time.

But it had changed, so much so that the scared boy who'd moved to New York and suddenly felt like everything was crumbling around him and latched on to the first person who offered him the possibility of affectionate and connection was now a man who was getting married and had a baby. And as Blaine lowered Ella onto his chest and kissed his forehead, Kurt reflected that he loved the way things were now. "Let's get married next winter," he said suddenly, and Blaine nodded and leaned in to kiss him, ignoring Ella's grumbling. "I want to wear white."

"You have a baby, honey, I think it's a little late to try and make that claim," Blaine said with a wicked grin, and Kurt elbowed him off the couch, ignoring his moans and whimpers of exaggerated pain. "I love you even when you push me off the couch, Kurt."

"And I love you even when you suggest that I'm not the male Virgin Mary," Kurt teased, and Blaine rolled his eyes as he watched Ella give him the same disdainful look Kurt did, and laughed aloud, climbing onto the couch to join his fiancé and their daughter.


End file.
